come together

i’m a single mom, and i am blessed that my child’s father is such a major part of quinn’s life. there are days when i feel less than blessed that this man is still a part of my life, by default, because we co-parent together. this has been one of those weeks in which i feel both extremes very saliently. i will likely not spend lots of time extolling dada’s many virtues on this blog, and i will also likely not list his flaws either,  since it is a space reserved for me and my personal reflections on mamahood and personhood, but there will be an honorable mention now and then. while there is a lot i find to complain about this particular human being, he is a stellar dad and deserves a pat on the back… as do i for putting up with him! this week we had one of those moments that made me proud that we’re doing our co-parenting in such a (what we feel is) progressive, and practically unheard of way. that is, although we are quite possibly THE perfect storm combination of personality traits, we manage to come together around our son and give him experiences of having his whole family play as one. i’m quite proud of the way this is going… it’s not easy, but it is worth it.

quinn is waaaaaayyyyyy into boats, fishing, crabbing, splashing, tidepooling, and anything to do with the marine world. he has been clamoring to be taken crabbing at the crab pier for so long (it has been about a year since dada last took him). this week we got our act together and gave him an amazing middle-of-the-night crab catching experience that he quite possibly will remember forever. i have never seen him so pumped up and excited to be doing something…. i think it is a combination of his water personality, his excitement over having all three of us together, the fact that mama roused him at 2am for a special excursion, and the concept that he was doing something real- he was getting his own food, seeing it through from bait to table, and there is something that will always be magical to human beings about that.  the 3am pictures didn’t turn out so well, so what i’ll post is a few pictures of a trial run he and i took to the pier a few days earlier (we caught only little ones, you go in the wee hours on the proper tide and moon cycle to really bring home some food), and then the photos of the “crab picnic” we had the next day, where he positively squealed with delight over eating his “whopper crab” caught in his “lucky trap” (an abandoned trap he spotted at the jetty last week, in great condition). at the picnic, he did crab songs, crab dances, prayers to thank the crabs for coming into our traps, and thanking them for feeding our bodies, he played with the whole crabs, he gnawed on the crab legs, he cracked their claws and dug out the meat, he devoured this gift from the sea while running laps around the picnic table, and i think i saw him grow another inch as a result. if he doesn’t remember it forever, i know one mama who certainly will.

tending his trap earlier in the week

giddy with crab joy

right on, dude