we’ve entered a new phase of life. dada has a girlfriend.
i don’t know where to begin and how much is too much. this is the internet and all. but i feel the need to continue to let my thoughts flow out of me where i can see them and know they are not scary or dangerous or even, really, real.
actually, i think “it’s all good” might be close to the truth. in spite of the fact that there have been a series of occurrences in the past week that have essentially taken my breath away, and nearly took some lives in the process, i think everyone is coming through this. (the lives of his new girlfriend’s dad, and my own dad, have both been in serious danger in the past week, but everyone seems to be coming through relatively unscathed. in addition, gf’s situation is eerily close to home for me, mirroring what i experienced 3 years ago leaving an abusive relationship in an uncanny way. also, i have heard some acknowledgements from coparent towards me this past week that i had let go of ever expecting to hear. also, apparently i am feeling very, very lonely. and also a bit unnerved by the realization that i stubbornly wasn’t going to “go first” and wasn’t admitting that to myself until now. also, migraines are so not fun.)
i like her. for the record, i really truly do find a lot to like about this woman, and her family, several of whom i am already friends with (her dad being one of them, and i sure am happy he came through heart surgery and i will get to play creedence and johnny cash songs with him again.) her two kids are sweet.
i wish them bliss. i really do. it might seem too early to say something like that, but i see something there, and nothing is ever sure, but i see something. a good something.
there have been some awkward moments, i’m not going to lie. i am getting some great opportunities to make sure i am speaking up with my needs and quinn’s needs, and i think i am rising to that occasion.
i love her intentions for how we are going to get along. they seem to really match my own intentions. i am impressed by coparent’s intentions for prioritizing coparenting over everything else. i want this to be good. and they really seem to agree. by good i mean, we aren’t doing this the way it’s been done before. we are writing a new manual for the way we are choosing to coparent.