attitude adjustment

tuesday morning after rich left for work i made tea and read the rolling stone article about bob dylan, and waited for the stroke of 8 so i could call the unemployment office without the 75 minute hold time. the way my adrenalin was pumping was like waiting for concert tickets to go on sale. dialing at 8:00, i was told to call back during business hours. doh! 8:01, i got rung through and was able to leave a call back number for an estimated wait time of 2 to 4 minutes (which turned out to be about 10). but i got the nicest, most helpful agent and she got me all straightened out.

which is good, because unemployment was starting to make me a little cranky. (did you know there is both an unemployment division and an employment division? i guess it just shows my ignorance, that i have been blessed not to need it until now. i found out that fun fact monday when i walked into the wrong one to try to clear up my one hour of employment teaching yoga during week 40.) last night i realized i needed a little attitude adjustment. with the change of seasons, the loss of my job, the glacial pace of the quest for assistance with getting quinn back in school, and missing my man who is completely absorbed in theater land (for good reason- the play is wonderful and he let it be a surprise on opening night that he gets to sport a sharpie tattoo reading “happy birthday eileen” on his right upper arm for the next 2 weeks. hehe if i ever run into eileen let me tell ya…) well, i have been spending a lot of time with myself, and noticing a touch of loneliness, funkiness, and general malaise.

whoever she is

i like to think i’m pretty good about noticing that type of feeling and snapping myself out of it. having been down the road of indulging the doldrums, down to the very bottom once upon a time, i have no plans to ever do that again. and really at this point in my life, it is so easy to simply change my perspective, count my blessings, and smile instead of frown, because there are so many blessings to count.

blessing numero uno

such as a new granddaughter! she was born on friday night just before midnight, on opening night of the play. you’re jealous that i get to be a grandma as a blushing young 34-year-old, i know. it’s not everyone who has the potential to live long enough to be a great-great-great someone. whatever type of someone i am. grandmother is obviously pushing the envelope a bit, my biological son is only five, so i’m still pretty much just mary beth, and that is just fine. mary beth has always loved babies, and this little pancake is no exception. we got to go and see her on sunday and lavish lasagna and mother’s milk tea upon the household. we got to spend extra time with the original baby pancake (b-pancake), well on her way to age two and full of spunk, while we waited for new baby z-pancake to come home from the hospital.

then we braved ikea, and brought home a new loft bed for quinn. he was with his dad for the weekend so this was a trip for just rich and me. which could have been romantic and a bonding experience, given that i have the hottest young grandpa on earth as a partner, and i’m not saying it wasn’t, it’s just that i was dozing in the passenger seat of his pickup truck for the better part of the trip.

quinn turns out to be pretty handy with an allen wrench, he allened that bed together (it’s a verb) nearly on his own. i was basically a spectator. i am thinking he could start a business hiring himself out to put together peoples’ ikea furniture. they print those “constructions” (quinn’s word for instructions) all in pictures, so it really does make sense to just hand them over to your young son who has an extra helping of focus on his hands. he dove in, sorted out the fasteners, retrieved boards with the correct numbers printed on the ends, and he hung in there right down to the last screw, and was over the moon to sleep up there monday night.

he also fits into confined spaces a lot better than i do… for the time being.

yea, though i walk through the valley of cobra premiums and mandatory job searches several years into a recession, i will look on the bright side. i’m so thankful for this family i’ve got, the pears i am about to put in the dehydrator, good health, yoga, good friends, music, the sun peeking through the rainclouds, and 10 of the most amazing months being in love (happy anniversary my love, and thank you for reading what i write. i can’t tell you how much it means to me. xoxo).