Tag Archives: interest-driven learning

educational priorities ~ a mamafesto ~ 2020 remix

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Quinn recently attended a six-day online Dinosaur Discoveries camp and at the end earned the “Most Likely to Become Everyone’s Favorite College Professor” award. It launched a great conversation between Quinn and I about how online learning does not necessarily have to mean pushing a bunch of “submit” buttons to enable the instructors to assess his learning accomplishments. The instructors provided materials for him to immerse himself in, trusted that he was absorbing them, and then detected his absorption of said materials through conversations, group discussions, and other contributions (voluntarily written and presented). No grading or testing occurred. And yet, both Quinn and I felt the instructors had somehow managed to glean a lot about who he is as a learner and an individual simply through six days of connecting with him over meaningful curriculum, meaningful because it was chosen intentionally by Quinn.  As for the assessment of Quinn’s likelihood of becoming everyone’s favorite college professor, Quinn said, “I think it’s extremely accurate.”

In 2012, I sat down and wrote out my priorities for Quinn’s education, a valuable and worthwhile exercise that received a lot of positive feedback at that time, and that I have returned to at times when I’ve felt a need to check the calibration of my compass concerning Quinn’s education. Each time I’ve returned, I’ve been pleasantly surprised how well that list concerning my going-into-kindergarten five-year-old still fit, say, when he was transitioning from second grade at our living school to third grade in the public school, or when he was moving from there up into the middle school. These transition points pushed me to revisit my priorities for Quinn’s education more than the years in between, but when I did so, I found that what I valued for him at the beginning of his school years are the things I still value, and each time, it has helped me orient my efforts in advocating for his learning needs in each context in ways that aligned with those values.

2020 is a different year in every way, and it is exceptionally different in terms of how education is being and will be carried out. Quinn finished seventh grade pushing buttons on a computer screen, disconnected from his teachers and peers, isolating himself at his dad’s house in the woods. However, for the month it took for the school to transition into distance learning mode, he had a fresh chance to direct his own learning, and it was an oasis between the overscheduled school year to that point, and the button-pushing specter of school on a laptop that limped across the finish line. As we envision what his eighth grade year will be like, his last year before high school, it has been on my mind to revisit the priority list yet again. (Click here to read the original post.) With years of additional insights into how Quinn learns, I decided it would be a good time to do a fresh rewrite, although once again my revisit reconfirmed that everything on the list still resonates for me. The first priority, however, is the one that stopped me in my tracks this time: “Safety- A learning environment where physical safety is a no-brainer.” This cannot possibly be assured this coming school year with any physical presence in the school building. Though the language of that priority once centered around booster seats and sunscreen, the language of school safety has grotesquely mutated into how we can carry out active-shooter drills during a pandemic. Safety will always remain priority number one, and hence, this year will look very different from other recent years while Quinn has attended public school.

Still, I wanted to write this 2020 version from a place of naming what we want to move towards, vs. what we want to move away from. This is how I approached it in 2012 when I was feeling a visceral aversion to Quinn attending public school while he still needed quite a lot of social emotional support a good portion of the time. At that time, I tried to hone in on articulating the goals I have for his learning environment rather than just describing the outcomes I wanted to avoid; instead of focusing on how likely a differently-wired kindergartener is to be misunderstood in public school, I focused on working towards an organic learning environment where choice is central, the whole child is nourished. In 2020 I want to focus less on COVID-19 risk and more on crafting the best learning options for him given the circumstances. Still striving for an organic learning environment where choice is central, the whole person is nourished. The long-term goal is still and always a thriving lifelong learner.

Many things have changed in eight years, but so much has stayed the same. Most of what changed in this list is an organization of the original 12 separate items into 3 categories they seemed to gather into naturally: safety, connection, and self-direction. A disclaimer I would attach to this and all posts of mine: this is a description of my own values and is intended only as a means of articulating them for myself; if they resonate for you, that is a pleasant outcome we can enjoy, and if they do not, feel free not to let them slow you down as you scroll on by.

~Educational Priorities~

As Quinn’s mama my priorities for his educational experience are to surround him with nurturing environments and people and to protect and feed his love of learning. While I do not distinguish between learning and the rest of life, as I believe the two are inextricably linked, I will do my best to list my priorities for how I believe Quinn can best be supported so that he may thrive as a lifelong learner. I believe this will be achieved by prioritizing:

1. Safety

A learning environment where physical safety is a no-brainer. As drastically different as the content of this paragraph may be in 2020 than it was in 2012, the first sentence is the same first sentence. Physical needs must be met before learning needs can be fully realized. At Our Living School, we repeated a mantra concerning safety, “Our bodies are safe, our thoughts are safe, our feelings are safe, our work is safe,” and this is still a useful list.

Physical safety: Quinn’s physical safety is secured in his learning environment to enable him to focus on learning. The physical safety of educators must also be paramount. The presence of my learner in a school is possible only when teacher health and safety, and the health and safety of the families of those teachers, and the health and safety of other students and their families, can be ensured.

Mental safety: Quinn is in an environment where he can express his thoughts freely and knows his learning needs will be respected and supported.

Emotional safety: Quinn is able to feel, express, and care for his feelings.

Work safety: Whether it is what he was building out of blocks at five, or a research project he is getting ready to present at thirteen, the integrity of Quinn’s work will be honored.

2.Connection

I believe that a positive learning environment for Quinn will flourish when it grows from strong roots of connection and belonging. Several of the 2012 priorities focused on specific connections; between student and teacher, parent and teacher, student and peers, student and others of all ages. In 2020 I can see that these one-to-one connections are impossible to extricate from the web of community surrounding a learner, and while these individual bonds may stand out from the web when highlighting learning priorities, they all perform their roles in the best ways when the whole web is strong and stable. Strong connections will help Quinn develop empathy and compassion, and a realistic understanding of others’ realities. They will also help him self-reflect through relationship with others, and to continue to build healthy relationship skills.

Student-teacher connection: A bond between student and teacher ensures priority #1 through open communication and positive regard of one another. From connection flows the sense of nurturing, unconditional positive regard, and feeling of equal dignity that all humans deserve and require in order to do their best learning. I believe safety and equity for all other students is necessary for Quinn to experience the benefits of a connection to any teacher. If he can see that his peers of all identities and abilities are all being treated with that positive regard, then he will be able to trust that lighthouse when its beam is directed towards him.

Student-teacher-parent connection: Open channels of communication among those involved in Quinn’s learning endeavors allow for his strengths and areas needing extra support to be known so that all involved are attuned to his unique learning style. Parental involvement in learning is ongoing and meaningful.

Student-peer connection: The stronger the connections between Quinn and his learning community, the greater sense of belonging he will experience. Quinn feels ownership of his school as a place that is Home to him, with a positive sense of caring for his fellow students, who in turn care for him as part of their community. Values are instilled by the teachers towards this end, and extend outward to include his greater community, in which his school is an active participant. These values of community care are best realized by distance learning in 2020, protecting all learners and teachers, and finding creative ways to still foster belonging. Peer connections may take the form of online paleontology discussions and online D&D gaming sessions this year.

Connection to others of all ages: Quinn is connected with older teens and young adults who have skills he has yet to acquire to look up to, admire, and imitate, and kids who are younger, to keep things infused with imagination and wonder. He has involvement with people of all ages from the surrounding community, because the real world is a place where people of all ages interact, to everyone’s great good fortune. In 2020 we’ll have less in person interaction to be sure, but this will be good to keep in mind as a guiding principle, that while peer interactions are very important to developing teens, interactions with others of all ages matter as well, even if they have to be emails and video calls for a time. Grammy and Grampy, Mario and Luigi, I’m looking at you!

3. Self-Direction (trust)

The rest of the 2012 priorities group themselves comfortably under this heading. In 2012 I wrote about a whole-child approach, an emergent curriculum, a Yes environment with emphasis on play, developing an internal moral compass, and nurturing an intrinsic motivation to learn. In conversation with my teen about what works and does not work about schooling for him, we keep circling back to the need for choice. I want to strive towards a learning situation that prioritizes self-direction for the learner. (The heading contains parenthetical trust, because this path requires a large amount of it on the part of a parent supporting the self-directed learning journey of their youth.)

Whole-child or whole-teen approach: In my worldview, children come into the world as fully intact beings, destined to grow into their innate competence, as well as prosocial beings whose default desire is to cooperate, belong, and get along. Other worldviews exist in which children are born deficient or damaged, needing to be filled with knowledge and morals through a hierarchical top-down approach. My worldview encourages deep trust in the child’s inevitable trajectory towards competence, while the opposing one often requires proof through standardized testing or other means that they have reached competence.

I like a phrase coined by Marji Zintz that says, “attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts.” Giving kids the benefit of the doubt in their intentions and abilities empowers them to grow into their competence.

Whole-child or whole-teen approaches to learning must acknowledge the following: Academics, while held at high priority, do not eclipse other important lessons. Some of the lessons/skills I value most, in no particular order, are:

  • social/emotional skills
  • healthy bodies
  • mindfulness practices
  • self-confidence
  • compassion
  • writing
  • relationship skills
  • empathy
  • communication
  • movement
  • sustainability
  • fine art
  • creative writing
  • world culture
  • cooking
  • sports
  • drama
  • reading
  • conflict resolution
  • scientific reasoning
  • practical life skills (everything from gardening to making things to voting)
  • being a citizen in a democracy
  • critical thinking
  • math
  • social justice
  • music
  • community-mindedness

Many of Quinn’s skills will be honed at home, e.g. woodworking with dada or sewing with mama, and at private (dance/music/art/sports/karate) lessons or through outside-of-school classes, so I apply this concept to Life in General as well as educational goals.)

binary hand-counting in the wilderness

Self-directed learning: I referred to this as emergent curriculum in 2012, while in 2020 the term self-direction feels more resonant for the same set of ideals around choice, maybe because it emphasizes his agency in bringing about what emerges. Quinn is able to learn what he is drawn to, and the purpose of teacher guidance is to help him create meaning for himself about what he learns. He is able to approach each component of academics as he is ready for it, in a way that he can absorb it efficiently because it’s meaningful to him. He has the freedom to opt in or out of lessons he feels compelled or uncompelled by, and there is plenty of enriching material for him to engage with and be challenged. Further, the lessons offered are set at a level that is most likely to compel him, given that they are based on his/the student body’s emerging interests/intrigues/questions/thoughts/votes. He sets his own balance of autonomous learning time to cooperative group learning. Quinn’s preparations for his life/career goals (college, trades, conservatory, world travel or whatever they may be) are in his own hands and he is confident in his ability to craft his own educational curriculum, one that will land him squarely where he desires to be, wearing a set of wings to take him far beyond.

Consent: As mama of a young man, I see it as one of my most important roles in his learning to make sure he is aware and competent around the concept of consent. By honoring Quinn’s integrity, boundaries, and self-direction in his learning, I am modeling consent. If Quinn’s stance on a given subject or learning objective is no, it means no. Often choice is seen as something a teacher “allows” a learner, but that still creates a top-down dynamic which, instead of preserving choices, in fact limits them; if one of the available options is not “no”, the choice is not freely chosen. There is an illusion of choice that is created when someone says, “I will let you choose” but then the power rests with the person “letting,” not with the person doing the choosing. Forcing someone to learn, to press the “submit” button, is one way that consent is overridden in young people routinely, and I strongly suspect it contributes to a culture where consent is undervalued. Where students experience teaching as something to be done to them, they learn not to honor their own signals, but instead become resigned to others’ demands on them. Instead, by being clear on his boundaries, Quinn is learning where he ends and other people begin, and not just knowing about it in theory, but practicing and embodying consent.

Yes Environment: Yes means yes! A Yes Environment means that opportunities, space and materials are available to him whenever he takes initiative to express and explore. When he reveals an interest, the tools and materials he needs to follow that line of inquiry appear in a timely manner so he can continue and take it as far as he wants, until he is satiated. If he is engrossed in dinosaurs today (/this week/this decade), books and activities (games, videos, camps, virtual museum tours, ecology simulations…) show up in following days based on that theme and are strewn in his path for him to gobble up. His teacher’s role is to observe what is sparking his interest and tend the flame, requiring an individualized approach and attentive observation. This is best achieved in small class sizes where curriculum can flex and adapt. Instead of “no” stance on deviations, a “how can we…?” approach is the default. A Yes environment also provides structured and unstructured time and space to play. Play is of extreme importance to learning, and not separate from learning. Play is learning. Beyond K-12, Quinn is encouraged and supported in his life goals and help is always available to guide him in the right direction to meet them.

Internal Moral Compass: Quinn gets to grapple with right and wrong based on his own inner knowing, as he practices and calibrates his internal compass. He receives lots of guidance, information, and suggestions to help him navigate territory that is new for him, but never force, coercion or bribery, rewards or punishments. In areas including but not limited to consent, it is increasingly important for him to make morally right choices when nobody is around to police him or direct him in the right decision. He will do that if he has been exercising this muscle all along and his moral compass is well-calibrated and strong.

Intrinsic Motivation to Learn: His desire to learn comes from within, and that is honored in a way that maintains its integrity within rather than pulling it outside of him and replacing it with an external stimulus. Rewards and punishments are avoided in order to protect this intrinsic motivation to learn. Self-reflection around daily experiences, triumphs and disappointments will hold more meaning than grades, test scores, diagnoses, labels.

It is my belief that by prioritizing these values in Quinn’s education, Quinn will be set up to lead a fulfilling life. He will know himself well, always having been aligned with his own internal motivators, conscience, and self-knowledge. He will have confidence that he can achieve whatever he sets out to do, and will have obtained skills and knowledge that are required for that journey. He will know what it is like to be surrounded by supportive, encouraging people, and will recognize them in society. He will be attracted to workplaces with inclusive atmospheres and friendships featuring positive regard and nurturing. He will be unwilling to tolerate injustice because of his intimate experience of participating in a compassionate, justice-promoting community. He will know how to be respectful as well as to live in a way that inspires respect. He will know how to be flexible, how to think critically and creatively, and how to navigate real world situations because the real world is the place he will always have dwelled. He will be fully competent in making choices, as self-direction has been a key component of his entire educational experience- he will know that life is made up of choices, and he will be empowered to make them. These approaches to Quinn’s education will produce a strong, capable, caring, well-rounded, enthusiastic, empowered, joyful human being.

educational priorities ~ a mamafesto

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custody mediation is a roller coaster ride. focusing on one of the peaks of the experience, i had the opportunity to spend time writing up my priorities for quinn’s education, and i find that i continue to think about it and tweak it even though the decision has been made and quinn is, for reals, going to attend our living school (insert excited jumping up and down mama emoticon). i am glad to have had the motivation to articulate these thoughts that represent many years of contemplation, research and reflection. when i shared my list with my mom, she expressed that as a former public school teacher, this is what she and every other teacher she knew would want for children, if only they could accomplish it in that setting. to say the least, a grammy emoticon is also jumping up and down in excitement about her grandson attending our living school. and it got me thinking that i should post my educational priority manifesto publicly, and hope that in some small way, via ripple effect it influences someone in some way until someday our public schools provide this kind of educational experience for our children. feel free to distribute wildly. this thing is so going to go viral and change the world. ;))

My priorities as Quinn’s mama for his educational experience focus on surrounding him with nurturing environments and people and preserving his love of learning. While I do not distinguish between learning and the rest of life, as I believe the two are inextricably linked, I will do my best to list my priorities for how I believe Quinn can best be supported so that he may thrive as a life long learner. I believe this will be achieved by prioritizing:

1. Safety- A learning environment where physical safety is a no-brainer. First aid, booster seats, sunscreen, and other reasonable precautions are all taken as a matter of course, and all caretakers are attuned to his (and all childrens’) safety as the utmost priority.

2. Connection Between Student and Teacher- A bond between student and teacher that ensures priority #1 through open communication and positive regard of one another. Quinn’s teacher is someone he knows he can confide in immediately if he ever felt unsafe, and count on to immediately provide safety. In addition to how connection enhances safety, it also promotes an enriching educational experience, because of the comfort in which he can learn. From connection flows the sense of nurturing, unconditional positive regard, and feeling of equal dignity that all humans deserve and require in order to do their best learning.

3. Connection Between Teacher and Parents- Rapport among teachers, student and parents will allow for real, tangible assessments based on the individual student. Teacher observations are translated to parents in detail through open channels of communication. Daily experiences, triumphs and disappointments that Quinn has, rather than letter grades and test scores, (or worse: diagnoses and labels) are emphasized. Connection allows for his strengths and areas needing extra support to be known to all involved, because his teacher is attuned to his unique learning styles and pays attention to his experiences. Parental involvement at school is frequent and meaningful.

4. Sense of Belonging- Quinn feels ownership of his school as a place that is Home to him, with a positive sense of caring for his fellow students, who in turn care for him as part of their community. Values are instilled by the teacher towards this end, and extend outward to include his greater community, in which his school is an active participant.

5. Whole-Child Approach- A worldview that sees children as intact beings who are destined to grow into their innate competence (given their basic needs are provided for), as well as prosocial beings whose desire by default is to cooperate, belong, and get along. This can be expressed as giving kids the benefit of the doubt in their intentions and abilities. The opposing worldview is one in which children are deficient and need to be filled up with knowledge and morals through a hierarchical framework that places them below their teachers and other adults, and re-shaped into good human beings, and must prove through standardized testing that they have reached competence.

6. Emergent/Constructivist Curriculum- Choice is very important to a successful education. Quinn is able to learn what he is drawn to, with teacher guidance to help him create meaning for himself about what he learns. He is able to approach each component of academics as he is ready for and drawn to it, in a way that he can absorb it efficiently because it’s meaningful to him. He has the freedom to opt in or out of lessons he feels compelled or uncompelled by, and there is plenty of enriching material for him to engage in and be challenged by. Further, the lessons offered are set at a level that is most likely to compel him, given that they are based on his/the student body’s emerging interests/intrigues/questions/thoughts/votes. He sets his own balance of autonomous learning time to cooperative group learning time. Extending this to middle and high school years, Quinn’s preparation for his life/career goals (college, trades, conservatory, world travel or whatever they may be) is in his own hands and he is confident in his ability to craft his own educational curriculum, one that will land him squarely where he desires to be, wearing a set of wings to take him far beyond.

7. A Yes Environment- Opportunities, space and materials are available to him whenever he takes initiative to express and explore. When he reveals an interest, the tools and materials he needs to follow that thread appear in a timely manner so he can continue and take it as far as he wants, until he is satiated. If he is engrossed in dinosaurs today… books and activities show up in following days based on that theme and are strewn in his path for him to gobble up. His teacher’s role is to observe what is sparking his interest and tend the flame- requiring an individualized approach, attentive observation, and one-on-one time with each student. In turn, this requires small class size and ability to steer curriculum to tailor to the students at hand. Also required are outlets for fine art, drama, choral/instrumental music, dance, creative writing, world culture, cooking, sports, etc. (When I refer to a Yes Environment, this is one of the things I find it hard to extract from Life and label it School: Many of the interests Quinn will develop will be honed at home, e.g. woodworking with dada or sewing with mama, and at private (dance/music/art/sports) lessons or through outside-of-school classes, so I apply this concept to Life in General as well as educational goals.) Again, extending to his life goals beyond K-12, Quinn is encouraged and supported in his goals and help is always available to guide him in the right direction to meet them.

8. Developing His Own Internal Moral Compass- Rather than responding to external triggers like “do I get a sticker for sharing,” or “do I lose a sticker if I talk in the line,” Quinn gets to grapple with right and wrong based on his own inner knowing, as he practices and calibrates his internal compass. He receives lots of guidance and suggestions to help him navigate territory that is new for him, but never force, coercion or bribery, rewards or punishments.

9. Steering Clear of Rewards/Punishments With Respect to Learning- Rewards and punishments are avoided in order to protect his intrinsic motivation to learn. His desire to learn comes from within, and that is honored in a way that maintains its integrity within rather than pulling it outside of him and replacing it with an external stimulus. My belief is that rewards and punishments backfire in the longer term when used as extrinsic motivators for learning academic subjects.

10. Play- Time and space to be a kid, with both structured and unstructured time to play. Play is of extreme importance to learning, and again, not separate from learning. Play is learning.

11. Academics, while held at high priority, do not eclipse other important lessons. Some of the lessons/skills I value most, in no particular order, are:
social/emotional skills
healthy bodies
mindfulness practices
self esteem
compassion
writing
good relationships
empathy
communication
movement
sustainability
arts
reading
conflict resolution
scientific reasoning
practical life skills (everything from gardening to making things to voting)
being a citizen in a democracy
critical thinking
math
social justice
music
community-mindedness

12. Age integration- Kids who are older to look up to, admire, imitate, (who have skills he has yet to acquire), and kids who are younger, to keep things infused with imagination and wonder. involvement of people of all ages from the surrounding community, because the real world is a place where people of all ages interact, to everyone’s great good fortune.

It is my belief that by prioritizing these values and qualities in Quinn’s education, Quinn will be set up to lead a fulfilling life. He will know himself well, never having been divorced from his own internal motivators, conscience, or self-knowledge. He will have confidence that he can achieve whatever he sets out to do, and will have obtained skills and knowledge that are required for that journey. He will know what it is like to be surrounded by supportive, encouraging people, and will recognize them in society.  he will be attracted to workplaces with similar atmospheres and friendships featuring positive regard and nurturing. He will be unwilling to tolerate injustice because of his intimate experience of participating in a compassionate, justice-promoting community. He will know how to be respectful as well as to live in a way that inspires respect. He will know how to be flexible, how to think critically and creatively, and how to navigate real world situations because the real world is the place he will always have dwelled. He will be fully competent in making choices, as choice has been a key component of his entire educational experience- he will know that life is made up of choices, and he will be empowered to make them, to lead where others might defer to someone else, or wallow in indecisiveness and let decisions be made by default rather than empowerment. These approaches to Quinn’s education will produce a strong, capable, caring, well-rounded, enthusiastic, empowered, joyful human being.

~a month (or two) of unschool~ expedition to the east pole

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i took last month off from posting, since quinn and i lost 3 whole weeks together. but i looked back and there were still a few gems from last month, so today i’m posting our last two months of unschooling.

~we’ve been learning a lot about how families come in all different shapes and sizes. and that families grow in all kinds of new ways and we count ourselves lucky for all that entails. all that matters is love, and being together.~

~we are still big on dinosaurs, drawing, and uno. we did some gardening in between winter storms~

~quinn turned five! and used the opportunity to work on his letters and drawing and coloring skills. he learned about the concept of plays/theater by hearing a sparkle story about martin and sylvia putting on a play, and by attending a play that rich starred in, called woman who fell from the sky (it’s an iroquois creation story, and was beautifully done! and young children were spellbound and only had brief blips of trying to interact with the actors on stage;)). the martin and sylvia story had them traveling to the south pole with roald amundson’s expedition (he was my great great aunt’s boyfriend, if family legend is to be believed.) quinn’s version was also a polar expedition, but his was to the east pole. i participated as the sled dog, and i am withholding the embarrassing image of myself wearing a kitty headband since i am in charge around this here blog. we built a shelter in the kitchen, transformed a yoga mat and booster seat into a dog sled, donned stylish explorer costumes, and stuck our pirate flag into the snow at the east pole when we arrived.~

~buttoning his own shirt and choosing his own outfit (awesomely rad, too bad about the photo quality) for attending the play as my “date”. checking out the paper-scultped masks from the play after the show, including his favorite, the dragon. reading, being, taking care of kitty, drawing in chalk, and getting to do “guy” stuff with rich.~

~learned all about track meets. exclaimed “make a loud sound like a cannonball!” and ran himself around imaginary tracks in the grass. cheered on his new buddy e while she ran.~

~finished reading the princess bride, read a huge book about dinosaurs several times, began reading the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. animal sticker book from my friend liz absorbed him for hours on end. found all the hidden dragons in a new dragon book. became a t.rex in the snow. found a newt that survived our crazy oregon coast “blizzard.” made and played with playdough.~

~made blueberry pancakes a few times, and in general helped mama cook whenever he felt the desire. helped mama garden whenever he felt the urge. planned out his own little garden plot, which will contain sunflowers, peas, and not surprisingly, dinosaur kale. read his baby scrapbook after asking me to tell him the story of “myself from when i was a baby to when i turned one year old.” drew, lived, breathed dinosaurs.~

~other fun stuff: he is learning about giving hints, and becoming more subtle with the hints he gives when he is leading a guessing game.

~sarcasm: in the store, i showed him a fabulous dinosaur raincoat on sale, and he told me with perfect deadpan, “i guess i could get used to that.” later he giggled as he told rich, “i was just joking with her!”

~surprises: and how not to give them away. sort of.

~plays: while he was putting on the east pole expedition performance, he kept declaring that he was “playing a game” and that we could use such and such for “the game” and i finally realized he was confusing “game” with “play”. makes total sense, given how much fun he was having doing it!

~practice/discipline: a topic that ebbs and flows for quinn, he has been cycling through another round of wanting to already know how to draw things, and has been asking me to draw things for him a lot, rather than attempt it, if he is afraid it won’t turn out well. so we are working on practice, and repetition, and being ok with not getting it right the first time, while i’ve also been doing a lot of drawings according to his direction that he has been coloring in with the most thorough attention to detail. he seems to feel incredibly secure in his ability to color (vs. draw) right now, although he is less confident in rich’s coloring abilities, which he likened to those of his two year old friend hope. (is learning how to insult people considered a life skill? ;)) to be fair, i don’t think he meant it as an insult, i think he just sees everyone he knows on a sort of coloring continuum, and maybe rich just needs to practice more…

unschoolish weekend

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he lights up my life. i just recently learned of martinmas, and was intrigued because everyone seems to walk around carrying cool handmade candle lanterns. when i finally read some of the stories of martin of tours, and how he was a soldier who helped a beggar by offering him half of his cloak (in the version i read, anyway)… something clicked! i have felt unsure how to celebrate veteran’s day (the holiday we typically celebrate on 11/11 in the united states). i do not celebrate war. i do honor those who serve our country in this way, but i have a hard time knowing how to reconcile honoring war heroes while simultaneously valuing peace. my father, grandfathers, uncles, great uncles all served in the military, and don’t get me wrong, i appreciate their courage. i just want us to do things a different (peaceful) way.

like sharing our cloak with someone less fortunate on a frosty cold night. like bringing light into the darkness, instead of violence. indeed, these members of my family have done many things in their lives (aside from their military service) that brought about peace, and so those are the things about them i wish to honor.

just more my thing, i guess. so i like this whole martinmas tradition, and next year i’m hoping to do more than just haphazardly recite from memory (having read it earlier that day online) the story of martin, and make a haphazard tea light in a jar “lantern” that we didn’t even carry outside, much less go for a walk with. in this way we can honor courage and service without taking the focus off peace.

on friday i got off work an hour early and had a chance to go outside while it was still daylight! when i offered the beach or the mike miller nature trail as options, quinn chose “no” and made his own suggestion: the bayfront. he is in love with that place!!! this boy is so interested in fishing and boats and lines (that’s rope to you lubbers). he just revels in it. see him reveling? he is carrying a trusty piece of line along for the walk, which he practiced tying up to cleats and tossing out into the water. he coils like a professional sailor, and has been tying some seriously impressive knots. his christmas stocking is going to be full of pulleys and clamps and caribbeaners and various lengths of line to add to his fun.  i can tell he is talking to me in this picture, likely making up one of his signature long stories, involving- you guessed it- boats and fishing!

i know he is going to pick up so many of the “basics” of preschool and grade school education, just through this one interest of his. i can see him wanting to get these stories on paper and how it is going to motivate him to want to write, for example… still a ways off, but i see it! i just love the way it makes his eyes sparkle and shine, just being on the docks.

speaking of becoming literate, while he was drawing this apple on his chalkboard yesterday, he was telling me, “the O letter starts with no, and the S letter starts with yes!” it made a certain mama who has been wondering if she should be more pushy about reading and phonics, rest a little easier in her hands off approach. he had a few months of not wanting to read much (unusual for him! but we went with it- i know he is an ebb and flow kind of guy and i never want to push it on him and ruin his love for stories). now this autumn he is ravenously plowing through chapter book after chapter book (i’ll post sometime soon about some of the favorites!). now he is asking pointed questions about which letters make which sounds (and expressing it in oh such cute backwards ways… have to love that while it briefly lasts!) i also caught him pointing last night at the G in curious george and saying to no one in particular, “g starts with george.” he’ll have that all sorted out in no time, i can tell.

drawing and crafting haven’t been his passion lately, but i am starting to see him want to pursue drawing again now, too. he went through a period of becoming easily frustrated with the drawings not turning out how he wanted, but he seems to be a bit more able to roll with it now. i think the “time off” from that has probably been a good thing.

music on the other hand… he seems to just have it in his bones and he can’t help but dance when one of “his” songs comes on. saturday night when we didn’t have any music playing, he sat down at his xylophone and started rocking out, and singing the bob marley tune “bend down low, let me tell you what i know….” beautiful. i got a bad recording of it using my cell phone. 🙂

yesterday we swung by the aquarium, and visited some of our friends. we got to see the otters being fed. the aquarium always seems to give me a peek at the length of quinn’s attention span. about 3 minutes into the feeding, all of the other kids had badgered their parents to go onto the next thing. quinn seemed really content to stay for the duration of the feeding, commenting all the while on what he was seeing, and what was happening between the trainers and the otters. then after the feeding was finished, he and i stayed and re-enacted the things we had been talking about, taking turns being otter (stationing its nose on the trainer’s plastic ball-on-stick and then gobbling the yummy fish) and trainer (tweeting the whistle, holding the stick-ball-thing, and tossing the fish to the otter). here he is taking another long look into the sea lion tank, his friend max visible in the tank, swimming a lap.

sometimes i get caught up wondering what else i “should” be doing and whether i’m dropping the ball in some way with quinn’s educational experience. for me, it is a constant exercise in mindfulness to unschool. that includes keeping my own principles in view (e.g. his “education” is just a matter of life unfolding- i don’t need to contrive it!) and every now and then glancing at a handful of weekend photos and noticing how vast amounts of learning are being accomplished when we’re not trying.