~rainbow mondays~ merry and bright

rainbow dragon costumes for pancake granddaughters. this shipment hasn’t been made yet, because grandpa found out some little girl stats about favorite colors and animals, and went on a mission to find a blue bunny and a white mouse for his girls.

solstice beach sunshine rainbow

rainbow christmas lights! which will probably be featured in rainbow monday photos through valentine’s day, since we finally put up the tree on christmas eve. rich’s daughter fits in perfectly with the nerdy glasses family theme.

rainbow lights and sunlight! the sun made a brilliant appearance on christmas day, much to my delight. finally enough light to make indoor natural-light photos less blurry! what a lighthearted day!

red: i forgot to buy the boy new socks, but i did thrift him some bright red sweatpants just in time to pajama his way through christmas pokemon battles. of his hand-knit auntie wrist-warmers, quinn said, “i’ve always wanted a pair of these!” and hasn’t taken them off since, unless prompted.

red: handsome fiance with fairy lights on his nerdy glasses, sitting in his red chair on christmas eve.

orange: that sun!!! setting charizard on fire during an epic pokemon battle.

orange: solstice sunset. i left work early on the shortest day and was richly rewarded with more sun-drenched goodness.

orange: the very vibrant end of the shortest day.

yellow: sun through beach grass on solstice.

yellow: more solstice sparkles and sand.

green: mr. wrist-warmer loves that one of his baby mittens that i knit for him is still around, adorning our christmas tree. we are also so very pleased to have our ornaments and stockings out of the back corner of the storage garage this christmas!

cutie blast from the past. you’re welcome.

green: we probably missed darth vader the most… when you plug in the lights, he says, “the force is with you young skywalker. but you are not a jedi, yet.” happy to have him back. i also love our collection of animal ornaments. and when i say ours, what’s rich’s is mine, okay?

green: christmas eve green sparkle magic making the walls shimmer. tree-topper mouse is another friend we were happy to be reunited with.

blue: solstice sky with bridge in background and driftwood frame in foreground.

blue: foamy waves looking vaguely like snow on solstice.

purple: i hope your christmas was merry and bright like ours!

 

~rainbow mondays~

a splash of color on monday

a photo study documenting the colors of the spectrum: the balance points between light reflected and light absorbed

five years of love and light

retrospective… 4… 3… 2… 1…

  

y’all, it’s been five years since i fell in love with this man!

five biggies from this past year:

  1. our first trip to the e.r. as a couple; sickness and health: check.
  2. we found dragon house 2.0, in all its wood stove glory, and started the bayou walk tradition, including sightings of a river otter and a baby hummingbird being fed.
  3. rich performed in one flew over the cuckoo’s nest and i broke a board with my hand.
  4. we took our annual trip to new york in september.
  5. we got engaged beside a giant dragon in a magical forest filled with music and fairies.

we’re going out tonight to the same restaurant we went to five years ago for dinner, when we discussed our more or less healthy eating habits, coparenting arrangements, and musical and book preferences. (we had already covered quite a bit of life story background material at the laundromat, so we were filling in the more minor details.) we’ve decided that since we are five years older and wiser, we do not need to re-enact the sitting in his truck (until an hour i will not name) portion of the evening, during which the police came and made sure we were of legal parked-in-a-truck-at-an-unmentionable-hour age. instead, we will go home to bed like the grandparents we are.

my word for 2016 has been “lighthearted,” and though i’ve been struggling with things trying to weigh down my heart, the darkness and heaviness will not prevail. days like this make it ever so easy to remember my blessings, and be filled with lightness of being.

 

this e.e. cummings poem right here….

 

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

 

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

 

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

the paradoxical lightness my heart feels in carrying around another heart… this and many other miracles (e.g. the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart) i plan to spend the next 99+ years studying in depth by this man’s side.

tomorrow i’ll wake up again to more greatest hits of our love soundtrack, and smile just like i do every day when i hear my ring click cheerfully on the glass of the jar of honey i will stir into his coffee and tea. we’ll chuckle about “barticle” the cat insisting that he fits perfectly into a box 2 sizes too small for his 19 pounds. we’ll shuffle around in slippers and pull on sweatshirts and hug and kiss goodbye for another day. and if i’m lucky, i’ll forget whether we kissed and get a bonus one before we head off to work.

then i’ll pick up my kiddo after two long weeks apart, and we’ll all celebrate some more.

happy holidays from our nerdy-glasses family to yours!

and hurray for the return of the sun, to lighten our hearts even more!

simmering a rew part 4 ~ salt and pepper to taste

continued from simmering a rew part 3

<3 <3 <3

then i drew some cards about me (focusing on my work, friendships, and family)…

“soul knows the way,” a seabird soaring just outside a city tells the story of tuning in to the intuitive whispers even when there is a lot of loud distraction at hand.

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and

“potential,” the acorn, in possession of all it needs to become an oak tree, if the right nutrients, climate, soil, circumstances are present. “we can also open to, and seek, community. actualizing potential relies on interdependency.” yes we can. i am so thankful for the friends i know i can lean on, and who can lean on me, in a beautiful dance of giving and receiving. a tree cannot thrive, nor even begin to grow, without its community.

isn’t it funny how clearly we can perceive the messages when they are about other people? i am not really sure what to make of these mb cards this round, not sure if i am actualizing my potential, not sure if my soul knows the way to doing so. there is loud distraction and yet it’s possible to stay pointed true to one’s course. i am succeeding at staying the course in the important ways (keeping the heart-shaped lens in focus), and maybe, one day, my work will truly line up with all of the curled potential within me. i think there’s more to me than skilled labor in exchange for a paycheck, however big a relief it is to me in this current life season to have gainful employment.

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at the time i drew the cards, i had been seeing owls a lot. one was actually right by the vacation house, and another one was along the highway coming back from a friend’s house. i was almost surprised not to draw any owl cards, though the cards i did draw made sense. then i picked out one more card, just last week, with my writing in mind. this time i drew the barn owl; heart-shaped face, mascot for this lighthearted year i’m embarking on. i have quite a few future post ideas (and even some post series) a-brewing and a-simmering, but they are coming along like molasses in january, so it almost feels to me like i’m not producing any results at all. here’s what the spirit owl card had to say about that:

this peaceful creature is wintering away in a calm trance, a sitting prayer of silence and deep connection. owl wakes us up to the truth, and then cuddles us in his downy feathers to enjoy the dreamlike nature of quiet honesty. open your heart wide, as barn owl’s heart-shaped face invites and discover yourself without limits. then sleep on it.

myself without limits… the curled potential within, discovering itself without limits. i’m not there yet, but i do like the idea that i’m in a sitting prayer of silence (sort of, except for this verbosity), while these ideas steep and await their season of waking and unfolding.

<3 <3 <3

while i didn’t make an actual list of new years’ resolutions, i did settle on a few intentions that kept popping into my mind. in no particular order, i intend to see some live music with my man this year, shave my legs at least a few times, go to a doctor, a dentist, and get a new pair of glasses for myself, and administer regular self care with special emphasis on my top three high-octane practices: baths, writing and taking pictures.

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taking pictures outside, to be exact.

i muddled my way through my new health insurance plan, chose a dentist (the one rich sees), a doctor (a holistic-sounding osteopath/acupuncturist who is incredibly “in network” on my plan; rich thinks he should go see her, too, why not share all of our health care providers? in sickness and in health, as the saying goes. or is it, what’s mine is his?) and the eye exam can wait a few months, since i did actually attend to that in 2015 (all three of us see the same optometrist).

during the first leg shave of 2016 i was overcome by a wave of apathy and almost didn’t do the second leg, but somehow stuck it out and finished the job. it’s really not important to me either way, but a certain someone appreciates this detail. like rinsing eggs before i crack them, i will happily do it forever because it matters to that sweet someone.

we’re working on being proactive on the health part, and the “in sickness” has been a doozy this season for us as well. being sick in tandem is part of the journey. we’ve reached a new level of our relationship now that we’ve heard each other puke. then we got sick again; this time the eye-burning, hair-hurting fever/chill variety of ouch, which we seem to be laden with again just two weeks later (now). yes, i’ll take sickness and health with this guy. he lets me brew up hippie concoctions of garlic, ginger, cayenne, honey and lemon to soothe his throat, and smiles even bigger if i add a splash of whiskey before handing it to him. and in the healthy times, i send him vague texts about photographing at the beach as he finishes his work day, knowing he will come take a walk with me to make sure i’m not being swallowed by any sneaker waves while i’m holding my camera up to my face. we take care of each other like that.

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alright, i’ve written enough. it’s your turn. what are you simmering? what’s on your back burner? how are the winter months treating you? what do you add to your best cold-fighting concoction? tell me about ways you find inspiration and affirmation. what are your top three high-octane self care practices? what do you see, right now, if you look through a heart-shaped lens? share in the comments!

simmering a rew part 3 ~ stir in wild ingredients

continued from simmering a rew part 2

<3 <3 <3

with quinn in mind, and with thoughts of his life in general, his schooling, and his karate practice (at the time i pulled the cards, his dojo was undergoing a leadership transition), i pulled two cards with “wild” in the title. the first, a painting of coyote, was titled exactly that: wild. “wild, organic curiosity leads you right where you were already going.” good old trickster coyote, teaching us, albeit in riddles, how to follow our intuition.

rain biker IMG_4015

and secondly, an image of a basket of cranberries. “wild bounty – abundance at hand!” the idea that hand in hand with successes come some anxiety and even overwhelm, but the fruit is ripening, so keep breathing through “the positive stress of success. make jam!” he is certainly thriving and growing and ripening in all sorts of ways, he’s the picture of abundance, that boy. and here we are, right where we were already going.

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i’ve been trying, in spite of seasonal hibernation tendencies, to make sure we get a regular dose of “wild” in our lives, and whenever we catch an afternoon weather window we have been hiking or biking or heading to the beach. on his most recent bike ride, one of his training wheels finally fell off.

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wheel still on…

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riding in the clouds IMG_4027

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wheel off!

he responded in the usual change-resistant quinn way and insisted i needed to fix it then and there, but soon he was back to riding with one training wheel, the other one tucked away in my bag for safe-keeping like a lost tooth. a little salt-air rust can be a boon when you have a kid who may never voluntarily remove the training wheels.

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sun come up it was blue and gold…ever since i put your picture in a frame… i’m gonna love you til the wheels come off oh yeah… i love you baby and i always will ever since i put your picture in a frame ~tom waits

rainbow bike IMG_3966

some days, it’s about convincing him just exactly how big he is, and encouraging him to step into a more independent, bigger-kid role, even if the very next moment is about letting him be surrounded by bigness, to remind him how small he is, we all are, in comparison to the great big wild world.

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i hear him giggle from his bed where he is reading through his calvin and hobbes book yet again. then, “mama, when calvin’s mom tells him it’s time for a bath, he turns himself into a particle of light and zooms away too fast for her to catch him!” i tuck the light particle in my heart and carry it around with me.

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<3 <3 <3

click here to continue reading simmering a rew part 4

simmering a rew part 2 ~ heat thoroughly

continued from simmering a rew part 1

<3 <3 <3

the demise of summer/fall seems to be what prompts me to traditionally pull some cards from the two decks full of magic and bioluminescence that i keep on hand for inspiration and affirmation, and once again i pulled some for my man and my boy as well as myself. the man cards… turkey vulture and st. john’s wort, all flow and generosity. no big surprise there. flow; of our housing adventures in short sale negotiation, he summed things up with, “it was starting to feel forced, so i knew we needed to go a different way.” generosity: the quote by hafiz on the second card :

“even after all these years, the sun never says, ‘you owe me.’ imagine a love like that. it lights up the whole sky.”

is one i’ve used to describe his love for me before, and it is still so fitting, even after all these years.

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whole sky, lit up

and even after all these years, there are new surprises. at a fancy birthday dinner for his mom, rich added a drop of cream to his dessert coffee. i was shocked, because in four years, he consistently uses a giant dollop of honey (or raw sugar if no honey is available) and never once have i seen him use creamer. “i don’t even know who you are anymore,” i fake-wailed, and we shared a belly laugh over our flourless chocolate torte with homemade lavender ice cream.

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friday’s sunrise on rich’s truck: “hold on, honey, don’t drive away yet…”

rich told me back in september that he didn’t like hearing me laugh with quinn’s dad over some of the things quinn had said about his first day of school (it was a dad week, so i was getting the first day report over the phone). rich was really careful about how he talked to me about it, careful not to make me out to have done anything wrong, while still communicating a request that i not do it again. it was more protective than jealous. he talked about how he likes my “very musical laugh” and reminded me “he doesn’t deserve it.” imagine someone having an objection to something you’ve done, and while telling you that, managing to make you feel like you’ve just been given a compliment and told how much you’re treasured.

imagine a love like that.

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our sushi anniversary date

<3 <3 <3

click here to continue reading simmering a rew part 3

simmering a rew part 1 ~ soup starter

sifting through post drafts, i decided to simmer a bunch of separate ingredients in one soup pot, hoping they will complement one anothers’ flavors. one is too tangy alone, one is much too sappy, and still another one has an overpowering kick. it’ll either turn into a pleasingly balanced, wholesome chowder of words, or it will boil over and become too long for anyone to actually read, but either way, i will get several lingering unfinished pieces out of my system. since today happens to be mardi gras, i’ve decided i’m cutting myself off of any more editing and serving it up!

on my brainstorm list for a 2016 word were joy, ease, love, enjoy, and laugh… especially laugh. when lighthearted came to me, it felt like it embraced the whole list, and fit so perfectly with my intentions for the year. occasionally i take on the offhand comments people make in cyberspace about how talking about our life and how wonderful it is is hurtful and offensive to those who feel their lives fall short; a sidebar to this is that surely we are not writing #truth nor being #authentic if we post mostly good things. then i remember a blog is a space to reflect on what is salient to us, and for many of us, what is salient is the magic and bioluminescence, rather than the autopsies of our failures. of the four agreements, i consider number 2 to have been the most transformative for me: don’t take anything personally. i love how kelle hampton covered this topic when it comes to how we handle brags from fellow mamas.

how we represent ourselves on screen can be subject to an increasing degree of scrutiny. to be clear, i have not felt judged or analyzed by any of my dear readers. my older brother could always stab me in the gut with “we can’t all be perfect like you” when we were both clueless teenagers and felt like we had something to fight about (we get along great now that we are over the comparing). i find there is always room for improvement on implementing agreement number 2. breathe out: none of my business what other poeple think. breathe in: lightheartedness.

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i’ve talked about why i write, and it has to do with leaving myself an unbroken string i can cling to and follow back to myself, not what anyone out there thinks of me. i also fantasize that one day, quinn might appreciate the glimpses of his childhood i’ve been preserving in jars and lining up on the cool, dark shelves of cyberspace. my housemate recently returned from louisiana after her grandmother’s funeral and told me that her brother still has a jar in which maman stored a prepared roux for gumbo. she said her brother still puts some roux back in the jar each time he makes one, carrying maman’s recipe forward. it struck me how those remaining particles of oil and flour lovingly stirred over heat by maman are reaching forward through time, even after her passing, and nourishing her descendants.

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i have been frank about the concept of choice in my emotional landscape: i make a conscious effort to see life through a heart-shaped lens, i’ve made no secret of this. i tried the shit-colored glasses for a few years, and it didn’t feed me, didn’t help me thrive, silenced me, bogged me down, just about killed me. for me, there has to be an intentional leaning into the positive, so that i don’t fall back into an over-used (but now becoming overgrown with brambles) neural groove.

disclaimer: trying on a heart-shaped lens outlook is only a viable strategy to avoiding depression if one is free of abusive situations. i am not advocating a practice of downplaying and minimizing turmoil, or attempting to overcome by this method the depression that inevitably accompanies abuse. i tried this a long while ago, but people couldn’t trust what i said, as it always came out distorted when i was caught up in that cycle. to put a positive spin on actual shit is dishonest. even if you’ve taken off the shit-colored glasses, even viewed through a heart-shaped lens, shit is still shit. please exit abusive situations before trying this at home. end public service announcement.

the heart-shaped lens is for revealing the light in a life that is already richly woven through with light, and just needs you to pay attention to it. it’s like developing beach vision – anyone who has trained the eye to find sea glass or sand dollars or fossil shark’s teeth or fossil snails while beach combing knows that there is looking, and there is looking. you start seeing more of them once you’ve seen the first one. when you make a decision that from now on, you’ll start looking up in the trees when you go for a hike, you end up seeing eagles a lot more often than you used to. the old trusty slogan, fake it till you make it, is a bizarrely accurate truth furnished by 12 step programs concerning this alchemy of which i speak. the love is out there, you trust that enough that you decide to see it, and lo and behold, you start to see it all around you. a powerful writer named ra whose blog i recently stumbled upon talks about intentionally recognizing what is “frightfully wondrous” in life, and this in spite of what i’d call her bigger-than-your-average constellation of hardships. it’s not about superimposing a shape onto the world around me, or pushing shit through a heart-shaped extruder to try to dress it up. it’s just the way i am channeling the already-shining light, revealing a shape that was already there, just waiting to be beheld.

<3 <3 <3

i attended a yoga/writing workshop in early january that reinforced the idea for me that the truth-telling i do is full of choices; what to include, what to leave out. if we are to “be in collaboration with inspiration” (quoting elizabeth gilbert), it is a process, a craft, a honing of words.

our first writing assignment was to write about a moment from 2015, including a key, a bowl of soup, and trouble (conflict). we free-wrote for about 15 minutes, and then we distilled our paragraphs down to their very essence by limiting ourselves to the 17 syllables of a haiku. our teacher asked us to pick one “headlight” moment where we came to a big realization. i chose my decision to see our eviction from our cozy country home last year as a vacation, which filled a year that could have been experienced as traumatic instead with warm memories of rest and comfort. the conflict (hostile landlord) and the key (to the vacation house) were obvious, and the bowl of soup was the gumbo, both literal and figurative, that was spiced up by the addition of new friends (with louisiana roots), a new home, and new life-enhancing experiences.

enrich the gumbo

uprooting turned vacation

refuge lies within

<3 <3 <3

summer memories of sunshine and hummingbirds on the porch have begun to fade away, and in this season when both breakfast and dinner may involve a roux, (they both always require a rew, of course), the biscuits and gravy, alfredo, chowder, and gumbo seem to set a slower pace of the blood through our veins.

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i solemnly swear not to unravel

it’s good for me to remember this as the november-december-january blur of wet-cold-dark-blah starts to feel endless. this time of year, i am the most vulnerable to overwhelm, and i have to be the most wary of an old tendency of mine to seasonally unravel. instead i have to see it as a season of allowing myself “no” as an option, and choosing rest and down time, and not feeling bad about partial hibernation. there is the least amount packed into the calendar (compared to may and june, ha! this is nothing!), and yet, i need to set the bar even lower than that, and flake out on so many things, just to function. self-judgment can creep in, if i am not vigilant. when i am trying to round up malfunctioning equipment and the lab procedure i’m doing takes hours longer than expected so that not only am i running late to pick quinn up from school, but i have to go back to work after karate to finish up, and when i do pick him up from school, i have to make nice with my coparent’s girlfriend who is picking up her kids, as if at one point in time she did not accuse me in front of a crowd of local child welfare experts of child abuse, and meanwhile said child is, to put it nicely, requiring additional scaffolding in certain executive functioning areas involving personal responsibilities for hygiene and self care, his noncompliance manifesting as either completely blowing me off or launching into arguments with me about said responsibilities, which aren’t negotiable, and by 4:00 that day i’ve decided not to send any christmas cards this year after all. so many things are buried in storage, and my fun limit has been reached with that, but hey let’s have an hour-long phone call with a confusingly awesome new contractor i’m supposed to sign a letter of intent to work with, or not supposed to, depending on who i ask, and by the way, show up for myself at the bargaining table (where is my drive to negotiate, my son has this drive in excess, why not me?) and feeling nauseous trying to work out whether this company is too good to be true, or trying to sell me a used car. decide to skip all school board meetings, regardless of pertinent concerns being addressed therein (but do send a letter to the board), and skip holiday parties to which i have been invited.

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but hey, i work here. it’s not so bad.

<3 <3 <3

click here to continue reading simmering a rew part 2

~a month in the life of a lifelong learner~ miracles

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the trouble with blog posts is, there’s no way to make them scratch-and-sniff. perhaps i can utilize some sort of jedi mind trick to make you smell this clove-filled orange while you read about our month of lifelong learning.

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rich’s daughter and her fiance came for thanksgiving, and brought quinn a drone. the boys had fun flying it and rescuing it from the hedge with the apple-picker each time it got stuck. these two share a birthday, and i know q looks up to him, i mean, the guy has serious paintball equipment, c’mon. both daughter and son-in-law-to-be are very sweet with quinn.

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since our own christmas ornaments were in storage, we decided to make some. then we ended up giving most of them away as gifts, which was a great way to spend less money and avoid giving people things they didn’t want. (because how could they not want a handmade owl from quinn’s pinecone owl colony?) hot glue and some craft foam from the dollar store… and we were cranking out little droid-esque owls in no time. quinn asked me favorite colors of family members he was sending them to, which i thought was very thoughtful of him. he thinks often of his new york family and i know it means a lot to him to do nice things for them and think of them smiling from far away when they opened his gift.

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for yet another pinterest project idea we used dollar-store ornaments to make ninja turtles, some to keep, and some to give away to karate instructors and quinn’s third grade teacher, who used to do tae kwon do. quinn did research, and interviewed each instructor to find out their favorite ninja turtle so he could personalize their gifts.

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who’s your favorite? q loves rafael, and i am a donatello fan myself.

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with clay from our personal ceramics tutor and buddy, quinn worked at sculpting elf, dwarf, wizard, hobbit and ranger mover pieces for his d and d monopoly game.

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pokemon card making experienced a surge of renewed interest this month.

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the school book fair enchanted quinn, and i remember feeling that way myself when i was a kid, so i gave him some spending money to choose a few (overpriced and of questionable quality, but still) books. i was impressed with his choices: the next installment of diary of a wimpy kid (he had read the whole series up to that point from the library, and was very much looking forward to the next installment), a how-to-draw teenage mutant ninja turtles book (i used to come home from every book fair with a how-to-draw book of some sort), a set of star wars stickers, and a pokemon collector’s handbook. the pokemon handbook induced spin-off activities such as list-making and story writing. pictured above, he is working on quinn’s pokemon story using my laptop.

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3 people went to new york for 7 days. they spent 8 hours a day at a hotel. how many hours did they spend at the hotel?

i pondered a bit this month about helping quinn catch his writing skills up to the level of his math and reading skills, but i don’t really think there is much i need to do. he is motivated to write now more than ever, and has lots of ideas: the writing force awakens. his teacher had told me he was less than motivated to write during certain assignments, such as writing his daily “math review” which entails explaining how he solved the math equation. he tends to space out and just not do it, his teacher said, and i nodded knowingly, thinking of how he spaces out and “just doesn’t do” things like getting dressed or putting on shoes. and yet, when it is something that sets him on fire, like making a game or sorting out a new pokemon deck, he has stick-to-it-ive-ness alright, and the space-out symptoms vanish. i liked how he took the make-up-a-problem assignment above and made it into something he cared about – traveling to new york. personalizing mundane assignments is a skill i don’t think i really made conscious use of until graduate school. i think he will learn to tap into that skill for completing assignments that make him want to stick his pencil in his eye, like math review apparently does, and i bet his math reviews will become the most enjoyable read in the stack.

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music! quinn still routinely talks about drumming with special interest, when it comes to music, and i do think he is a rhythm-oriented guy, when i see him dance. also, based on the songs he chooses as favorites, i see a definite rhythm-o-phile in the making. he is also playing recorder at school, so we are doing a little at home as well (he said he has his b, a and g figured out). they don’t have music every week- each class has it for a whole week’s specials about twice a semester, but the teacher makes great use of the time, and we’re grateful for the little bit we do get. i have my eye on some star wars recorder music, as well as a cool curriculum for earning karate belts for mastering different songs on recorder that i came across on this mom’s hilarious and well-written blog. stay tuned for me wanting to stick a pencil in my eye as we take this recorder journey together.

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speaking of earning karate belts…

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a young jedi looks for the good in all people; keeps his karate covered like a treasure in his pocket; and prays he never needs to use it, or for forgiveness if he ever does. love the symbolism and lessons that reach far beyond the mat… karate really is well-rounded, if your kid is going to be a one-extracurricular-activity kind of guy like mine.

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testing for his red tip (final step before being eligible to promote to the next belt!)

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his belt promotion paperwork. question: how can commitment help you obtain a black belt in karate? answer: commitment is a kind of cowoperation that helps you. question: name two things that you have set goals to do in the past two months. answer: be a green belt by the time i’m 11. be tying bunny loops by the time i’m a purple belt. i will take a small amount of credit for planting that bunny loop idea as a goal, because q had already mastered every other step of getting his karate gear on and off, including tying his belt and folding his uniform after practice, but the ties on the sides of his gi (top) required bunny loops, and he wears crocs on his feet and has never bothered to learn to tie laces. still, in case he wears running shoes ever, it seems like a handy skill to have, and i wanted him to set a deadline so he’d actually work towards it. he decided on purple belt, and then set to work learning bunny loops. and he has indeed learned to tie them, and on the day of his belt test, did not even ask me for help with his gi.

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bad picture of bunny loop tying

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belt test, the big night. several parents complimented him on how well he did, and his instructor gave him a special shout-out at the end for how hard he had worked to become proficient in his orange belt curriculum. he acknowledged how serious quinn had been in class lately, that his tendency to be a goofball had been less prominent in recent classes, and dubbed him the resident smile-bringer of the dojo.

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goofball time is built in, even during belt tests- here the kids are showing off their balance at the very end, wearing their new belts.

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smile bringer

run

now that he is a purple belt, he is in the advanced class, and quinn has been dying to get into that class for one single reason: they get to run for warm-ups! boy after my own heart, with ribs and gangly limbs poking out every which way just like 8 year old me.

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we had a fun play date with friends, and got to play with a cool snap-together building toy called lux blox. quinn took his new bunny loop skills on the road and helped with tying his four-year-old buddy’s shoes. (awwwwwww.) we puppy-sat for our ruby again (she was helping him learn more computer programming skills) and also had doggy friends of our housemate to play with this month.

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we launched our winter break with a friendly game of uno between the three of us, and ruby helped. my sweet 8 year old boy in a 45 year old’s body (who was 8 when he watched the original star wars on the big screen) took us out on a family date to watch the force awakens. no spoilers here, don’t worry. but oh, the fun! we sure liked it. what i personally liked most were the quirky quinn-isms that were whispered into my ear: “ok mama, the weapon is fully charged. i counted 30 seconds.”

equally as awesome, i walked into his bedroom that afternoon on him trying to use the force. he wasn’t even remotely deterred by my presence, and kept right on trying, commenting on how he was trying to figure out if the force was really real.

i told him i was sure of it.

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quintuple sharp tusk; woolly mammoth-inspired pokemon attack powers

while making his dad’s pokemon cards for christmas, we hit a snag because the marker he needed for the background color (“brown sugar” is what he calls it) was drying up, and we didn’t have another one. nor did the store, though they had a close enough for mama color. it was not close enough for quinn. it took him a while, and a lot of trying to get the dried marker to work before he relented, but relent he finally did. then he told me, “it must be a miracle, because my instincts kicked in just in time and i was okay with using the other marker.”

between newfound flexibility and actually finding the christmas tree stand in the storage garage, we most definitely received our quota of christmas miracles.

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from the light(hearted) side of the force, always, mb

weight(less)

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and first you decide what you’ve gotta do

then you go out and do it

and maybe the most that we can do

is just to see each other through it

we make our own gravity to give weight to things

then things fall and they break and gravity sings

we can only hold so much is what i figure

try and keep our eye on the big picture

picture keeps getting bigger

~ani difranco hour follows hour

the word lighthearted chose me for 2016; but how does one quantify the weight of a heart? the way gravity acts on the literal mass of an object, or the significance we impart to it? i adore my man’s penchant for seeing miracles where others might perceive trauma. there is choice in lightheartedness; like editing we choose what remains, what we omit. when things get heavy, we change their weight by helping one another with the carrying. this playful photo of quinn making his latest stop-motion arctic movie hints at the pulleys and rigging that can lighten a load.

i’ve decided to allow myself 100 words for these weekly photo challenge posts, kind of a fun game; and then i decided that quotes (and this disclaimer) don’t count against that limit. because i get to make the rules on this blog, ok?

participating in the weekly photo challenge from the daily post: weight(less) is today’s theme

~rainbow mondays~ lighthearted

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i didn’t take enough pictures this week for a full rainbow monday post, but i also don’t want to skip posting today, because i am feeling so blessed and joyful. i attended a wonderful yoga and writing workshop on saturday that filled me with inspiration was just so invigorating. then yesterday (sunday) looked at a beautiful house with my love that we would like to put an offer on. (all good house-buying mojo/chanting/prayer/finger crossing appreciated! not to wish anyone else out of the running, but there are others interested… even if we don’t get it, it felt very hopeful to see something that was such a good fit for us.) i spent a good hour on the phone with my mom hearing about the niece and nephew blessings in my east coast family, and then not long after that, received the news of my newest nephew’s birth here in oregon. i just returned from meeting him, it’s important to let them imprint on their aunties as early as possible. i am off to a great start on my theme for 2016 of lightheartedness, don’t you think? i thought quinn’s joyful look of receiving rainbow blessings in his upturned hand was perfectly symbolic for the occasion.

 

~rainbow mondays~

a splash of color on monday morning

a photo study documenting the colors of the spectrum: the balance points between light reflected and light absorbed