Back from Kodiak.
Otters!
Salmon!
And bears! Oh my!
I found another career idea for Dad: boat launch backer-upper. When you want to launch your boat but you need a big tractor to do it…
This octopus is named Gilbert.
These jellyfish are unnamed.
Until next year, Kodiak.
During this holiday season, none of us really knows what day of the week it is, so I figured I could sneak in a rainbow on this lovely last day of 2019, whether it is a Monday or not!
a splash of color on monday morning
a photo study documenting the colors of the spectrum: the balance points between light reflected and light absorbed
farm tour!
quinn got to wield the allen wrench and build his bed once again… this time at dragon house 2.0, age 9. flashback to dragon house 1.0, age 5!
some fun foods of the month; bird face pizzas and rainbow fruit!
returning salmon fry to the stream with quinn’s third grade class.
quinn got to attend his second karate seminar with mr. sepulveda, and go to dinner at the laughing planet cafe afterwards. it seems to be becoming tradition. he had a girl a head shorter than him enthusiastically choose him for a sparring partner, and they took turns flipping each other over for the whole hour. i think he had fun and learned a lot, and once again absorbed awesomeness from an esteemed kenpo teacher who actually studied directly under ed parker, the founder of this form of martial arts.
in between karate and dinner, we got to go on a brief farm tour #2 for the month (this was more of a sister friend visit, but… baby goats!)
climbing up ladders into haylofts, swinging on rope swings, meeting a sheep named artemis, having a baby goat suck on his fingers, and generally farming around. mama even got in on the baby goat holding and one took a nap in my arms.
come home on a friday after a week of school and work on division worksheets, why don’t you? sometimes an activity, like treasure map division problem puzzles, sits on a shelf for 6 months and then all of a sudden must urgently be completed in one sitting.
karate – second black tip earned on his purple belt!
spring concert fun, with the interjections song from schoolhouse rocks. i think he was pretty pumped to be one of the sign holder uppers. they also sang a ladybug song, and the 5th grade sang this land is your land with all of the best verses included – love that music teacher. then the whole school joined in on i’ve gotta be me. so much gratitude for teachers who plant the right subliminal messages…
Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong
I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me
What else can I be but what I am
I want to live, not merely survive
And I won’t give up this dream
Of life that keeps me alive
I gotta be me, I gotta be me
The dream that I see makes me what I am
That far away prize, a world of success
Is waiting for me if I heed the call
I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less
As long as there’s a chance that I can have it all
I’ll go it alone, that’s how it must be
I can’t be right for somebody else
If I’m not right for me
I gotta be free, I’ve gotta be free
Daring to try, to do it or die
I’ve gotta be me
we geeked out about the number 9 this month; i still sing “that crazy number nine” from the 80s show square one when i show a kid the nine trick. so i showed him the real song on you tube (some things are better left to the mama’s remembered rendition?), which launched a session of schoolhouse rocks math videos. i just recently bought the book go figure for him, because i think he really digs knowing all the fancy math secrets.
his room is getting set up piece by piece at the new house, slowly coming together. he said he likes that the changes are gradual so he can get used to them.
we managed to get to the pool for one open swim this month, and quinn spent the entire hour and a half doing laps back and forth with two noodles tucked under his arms, practicing his swimming and even getting his face wet and working on blowing out bubbles. major progress. he was wearing his new goggles and squishy ear plugs to keep water out of his ears. if only i had thought of getting some of those years ago! it made such a visible difference for him.
coming back from an evening walk, mamarazzi caught red-handed.
bunny watching out the vacation house kitchen window.
backpack archaeological dig finds
quinn got to go on a weekend camping trip with his dad out to eastern oregon desert country. when he told me about it, he told me he found a really cool piece of fire obsidian that he described in great detail; that he got to buy a barn owl stuffie at the high desert museum; and that he got to smash a penny. i found out later he also saw a porcupine up close, and got to see a great horned owl even closer; saw a baby owl in the wild and then found one of its feathers after it left; saw another owl flying; and spent his free time reading tom brown books.
reading and listening our way through percy jackson and the olympians, i found quinn another book written by rick riordan, percy jackson’s greek gods, which gives more background on the mythology behind the books. he is fully engrossed in that book, as well as calvin and hobbes, and the spirit animals series.
all of which leads me to ask… what if the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about?
i have been delinquent on posting ~a month of unschool~ for so many months now, that it is time for an update on a whole year! i gave up on the idea of back-dating the posts and decided to do one giant long post of the whole year in the life of one lifelong learner. which also feels like a more fitting title for where we are in life at the moment. i am not threatening to make these posts become an annual thing, i’d rather go back to monthly, now that we’re caught up… so go run to the bathroom and fetch yourself your beverage of choice before you read on, this one is going to take you a few minutes! and as always, thanks for reading. xoxo
june 24- july 23, 2014
~ ols summer program ~ pinata making ~ new owner of a library card ~ game making ~ logic game playing ~ book sewing ~
~big creek park hiking ~ water quality testing ~
~ snake witnessing ~
~ oregon country fair ~ pokemon toting ~ totem ogling ~ beauty absorbing ~ fun having ~
~ snail experiment to test intertidal snails’ tendency to move towards red and away from blue, hence towards “shallow” based on the attenuation of light at depth ~
~ tidepooling ~
~ scientific method! a good experiment is repeatable! repeating the snail experiment with a different batch of intertidal snails, different species from a different beach, but same experimental design ~
~ experimenting with wind energy and how blade configuration affects windmill efficiency ~
~ blueberry picking ~ livestock visiting ~
~ earth dough volcano making ~
~ more snails, this time freshwater snails whose parasites are pretty fun to watch under a microscope ~
~ marine science center fun ~
~ returning the snails to their river home ~
~ reading ~ playing ~ eating ~ yoga-ing ~
july 24-august 23, 2014
~ pancake-ing ~
~ marine discovery touring ~
~ developing a farmer’s market booth (a biweekly tradition observed at ols for practice with currency and entrpreneurship) around trading cards ~
~ camping with family. i love the magical glowing dust motes suggestive of fireflies, and the purposeful walk of the kids ~
~ comic reading, pasta slurping, river romping, adventure plotting ~
~ joy bubbling up at the river’s edge ~
~ tent dwelling, water meditating, karate dancing, tire swinging ~
~ big creek park adventuring ~
~ library summer program fun, including dragon puppet theatre’s 2014 feature “it’s electric!” ~
~ selling his very own homemade pokemon cards at farmer’s market, using magnatiles to display his wares and organize his cash~
~ noodling, sparkling, sprinkling, camping, and generally having fun at squirrel fest ~
~ tie dying ~ peaceful kids power teaming ~
~ eating, tracking down carmen sandiego, breaking into dance moves ~
~ perhaps foreshadowing his future karate self, or maybe air drumming ~
august 24- september 23, 2014
~first day of schooling ~
~ setting up a rock museum ~
~ best friending ~
~ learning through games ~
~ learning through engineering ~
~ learning through time for reflection ~
~ ceramics magic ~
~ biking ~
~ slicing up a fresh batch of pokemon cards to sell ~ reading aloud to younger students ~ figure drawing ~ math gaming ~
~ 3 dimensional geometry using a variety of media ~
september 24 – october 23, 2014
~ a study of optics prompted by a visit to ols by a local eye doctor ~
~ pancaking ~
~ airporting ~ flying ~ cousin reuniting!~
~ happy times in new york ~
~ helping grampy with the tractor ~
~ noodle field hockey at the nature center ~
~ observing lots of nature center beauty and life ~
~ these photos were taken by quinn, as material he planned to use in creating pokemon stadium cards ~
~ shelter building ~
~ demolitioning grampy’s broken wagon ~
~ lounging with grampy ~ mountain coastering with rich ~ perler beading with cousins ~ celebrating with grammy ~
~ apple picking wagon riding ~
~ play time with friends and cousins ~
~ writing ~ practicing with the metric system ~ more work on the eye and optics ~
~ hiking and exploring cape perpetua ~
~ experimenting with color mixing ~ contributing to group art piece gratitude poster made from finger prints ~
~ reading the raven and other books about northwest native american culture ~ creating art in preparation for dia de los muertos ~ visiting a local tribal cultural center ~
~ learning firsthand what it means to be a seal or a sea lion, during a pinniped lesson ~
october 24- november 23, 2014
~ taking lots of walks down our gravel road, often wielding a staff like donatello ~
~ baking pan (bread) for dia de los muertos ~ learning all about the day of the dead traditions and participating in a celebration of it ~
~ writing stories ~ drawing zombies ~
~ making maps of haunted mansions ~ coming up with the idea for his halloween costume from a pokemon card ~
~ making a group totem pole, including his own totem animal, the owl ~
~ delving into dungeons and dragons (seriously academic stuff, folks. lots of great math, storytelling, mapping, creativity!) ~
~ listening to his dad play banjo and guitar at ols ~
~ celebrating birthdays ~
~ studying animal classification ~ solidifying concepts about the 5 groups of vertebrates (mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians and fish) and also being introduced to kingdom-phylum-class-order-family-genus-species ~ playing a scattergories-esque game where you have to name a mammal, bird, reptile, amphibian, and fish all starting with the letter chosen (this got all the kids opening up reference books, and i quickly abandoned any time-limits in favor of letting them dive deeper to find more obscure animal names) ~
~ making gratitude trees ~ making games ~ making adventures ~
~ learning about the process of taking wool from sheep to sweater ~ more figure drawing, this time from life ~ reading my old book the little lamb ~
~ taking care of dogs and guinea pigs ~ breakfast with a guinea pig snuggled in your blanket is a great way to start the day ~
november 24 – december 23, 2014
~ making applesauce (which them became fruit leather) using simple machines (apple peeler-corer-slicer and food-mill) ~
~ making pumpkin pie ~ simple machine grinder to crush the ginger cookies for the pie crust ~
~ rolling with the simple machines theme ~ building a rope-making machine from scratch ~ making rope ~
~ sculpting storyteller dolls ~
~ coming up with new pokemon card designs to sell ~ making a set of cards and a special elven rope (very thin, exceptionally strong) using the ols rope making machine, for his dad’s birthday present ~
~ clearing limbs off the road after a storm ~ drawing by flashlight in power outage ~
~ taking care of ruby tuesday ~ listening to stories ~ reading stories ~
~ planting a new tree for the local public library ~
~ celebrating friends’ birthdays. i love his birthday song face ~
~ 3d geometry ceramics project in final form ~
~ caroling at ols, this year’s favorite song was “do you hear what i hear?” ~ decorating our tree ~ making gingerbread houses with friends ~
december 24, 2014 – january 23, 2015
~ celebrating with family ~
~ exploring the arctic ~
~ indulging mama’s photography practice by posing in front of christmas tree lights ~
~ for a while ~
~ super patiently ~
~ worked on a new report topic (started out with dragons but ended up focusing on oregon trail) ~ studied perspective through painting ~ learned how to rock a kilt thanks to an awesome homemade gift ~ visited whale bones ~
~ movie magic, discovering stop-motion film making ~
~ around this time, quinn made a few quotable statements:
“learning would be so much easier without teachers”
“when ava sat down it looked like a white lily pad!”
noted here so that once the sticky note i jotted them down on gets washed in my jeans pocket only to end up stuck in the lint trap and lost forever, they are somewhere
~ began a month-long pioneers and oregon trail unit ~ making corn husk dolls ~ keeping an oregon trail journal from perspective of a pioneer, including a budget for the supplies they would need for their journey on the oregon trail ~
~ acting out pioneer life in a wagon built from fort magic (what a great learning tool! we used it in many applications throughout the year) ~
~ presenting his research on life on the oregon trail, specializing in the life of pioneer children ~
january 24- february 23, 2015
~ pioneers continued ~
~ slates ~ rules and rulers ~ pioneer lunch (ham, biscuits, jam, cheese, pickles, dried apples, wrapped in cloth or stored in glass jars) ~ nail, ear, neck inspection ~
~ baking biscuits, shaking butter, building a salt dough map of the united states featuring the oregon trail ~
~ building an oregon trail diorama, calculating the number of times a wagon wheel turned depending on how many miles it drove ~
~ celebrated a grand finale *pioneer day* featuring washboards for washing doll clothes, candle making, soap pouring, lunch packed in baskets with no plastic baggies or tupperwares or individually wrapped snacks, and 3-legged races ~
~ research presentation on scorpions ~
~ egg drop engineering ~ spill-and-spell and handwriting practice ~
~ beginning a salmon science unit ~ provided a home for some salmon eggs in a tank on our ols science counter ~ ate snack made with graham crackers, peanut butter, chocolate rocks and blueberries, that looked suspiciously like our tank bottom ~ played return to the redd board game (so much good curriculum on salmon science is available online, the problem was not thinking up curriculum but sifting through all the great stuff already out there!) ~ group art project and puzzle making a large salmon poster from individual coloring sheets ~
~ found our way home using our noses (each stream had its own characteristic essential oil fragrance in a packet clothes-pinned to each fork in the stream; i made the stream finger-knitting while kids were giving their research presentations ~ watched eggs hatch out alevins ~
~ science counter with tank full of eggs, and finished poster ~ we also sculpted and embossed fish in art class, but i didn’t have good pictures to show ~
~ turning 8 at school ~
~ turning 8 on his actual birthday ~
february 24 – march 23, 2015
~ large floor diagram of internal salmon anatomy ~ adding the heart ~ all parts taped on and labeled ~
~ dissection of an adult salmon (provided by fish and wildlife, who had some leftover from a trap survey ~ thousands of eggs! this was a female, and we got to see a male, too ~ one egg ~ the lens removed from the eye ~ (note: a dissection is actually not quinn’s idea of a good time, and he opted to do the virtual dissection and not attend this dissection; i still wanted to record it here, to remember what i taught in science class!)
~ celebrating turning 8 one more time for good measure! dragon party at the dragon house ~ featuring reading of treasure hunt clues and science experimenting with lava lamps, amid all the cupcakes and fun ~
~ pancaking ~
~ climbing ~
~ fraternizing with eagles ~
~ unstructured time playing pokemon in costume in fort magic ~ watercolor and marker on wood veneer ~ reading great books, such as buffalo woman, to himself ~ organizing his pokemon cards in a binder, with a cover he designed and decorated ~
~ sand therapy ~
~ game making lab and library (including all the game pieces you might need for creating your own game- fake money, dice, spinners, timers, mover pieces, letter tiles, and more); students developed their idea for a game, tested it by having other students play it, and then were given a blank game board (thrifted and covered with white paper) and a sharpie to make it a real game ~
~ fry growing rapidly in science counter tank ~ returning carcasses of dissected fish to the stream ~
~ group project: stop-motion animation of the entire life cycle of a salmon ~ man in black currently operating the camera is quinn ~
~ setting up insect prey and making salmon eat them ~
~ the finished film ~
~ returning a week later with our ready-to-release fry, we observed the way the ecosystem was utilizing the salmon carcasses; all but one had been “utilized” completely, and this one remained, covered in snails ~ each student got to release individual fry, carefully netting it and setting it free in the stream, along with a “wish for a fish” for health and survival prospects ~ a fun frog was found on release day as well ~
~ some of the kids named their fish; quinn released swimmy and sammy ~
~ the free fry, swimming in the stream ~
~ his own stop motion studio at home, this time with his birthday lego set of mos eisley cantina ~
~ fully absorbed in the wings of fire series about dragons, by tui sutherland ~ pinewood derby fun ~
~ started karate!!! ~
~ what he looked like in the evening after the first few karate practices ~
march 24- april 23, 2015
~ room makeover ~
~ creating a board game for a best friend birthday present ~ decorating eggs ~
~ diving wholeheartedly into his new passion ~
~ celebrating a friend ~
~ experiencing a watershed model ~
~ exploring book covers as a material for art making ~ contributing to a group art exhibit at the local public library ~
~ pancaking is always so much fun ~
~ dabbling in photography, quinn has recently had very urgent needs to use my camera, and these two are some of his shots ~
~ drumming on a drum set ~ i see more drums in our future ~
~ karate game called “whack the students” for practicing basic blocking set ~ quinn got to go first and not knowing what to expect, the whole group ended up laughing together as he dissolved in giggles ~
~ did you see me? ~
~ brief flashback to another day, another daisy ~
~ earth day writing assignment, inspired by an out-of-print book i came across at omsi years ago, and then bought a copy of, called while a tree was growing ~ quinn’s story from the perspective of the tree he chose to write about ~
april 24- may 23, 2015
~ alternative energy experiments with solar panels and windmills ~
~ an earth-day board game ~ experimenting with wind energy, using it to perform work, such as hauling “kids” (washers) up in an “elevator” (cup) which was great fun ~
~ making their own laptops and ipads, on paper ~
~ sucked into the diary of a wimpy kid vortex ~
~ earned his red tip, and qualified to test for a yellow belt ~
~ yellow belt test success! ~
~ guinea pig research presentation ~
~ practicing coordinate plane with “find the spy” game ~ making a special egg quilt square for teacher k ~ becoming a wizard with a handmade blue-agate topped staff ~
~ visiting tall ships with class and learning about shipping trade and the life of a sailor ~ visiting tall ships with mama and learning about capstans, windlasses, tillers and lines ~
may 24 – june 23, 2015
~ horsing around ~
~ creating our own comic strips ~ singing spanish songs ~ fishing and canoeing ~ reading a ton!~
~ going on “dates” with mama to the food co-op for treats and quiet time after school and before karate and devouring calvin and hobbes ~
~ yellow belting ~
~ learning about babies ~ grating the purple cabbage of science, and using purple cabbage acid/base indicator to test our water supply ph (it’s all good, we don’t have a lot of trouble with acid rain here) ~
~ practicing archery (here only in gesture, but for real at his dad’s house) ~
~ tidepooling and adventuring with friends ~
~ learning the yellow belt curriculum ~
~ sparring ~
~ graduating! the ols kids had a last day of school outing to one of our state parks, and had a wonderful, heartfelt graduation ceremony, involving stuffed bears with graduation caps, tassels with meaningful symbolic charms attached, and diplomas, in addition to some wonderful words spoken by teacher k about her hopes for the kids as they leave ols ~
(condensed and excerpted here, so he can look back on it and remember!)
“Always do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember that we are one. Anything you do for another, you do for yourself. And anything you do for yourself, you do for another.
Obey all laws so long as they’re just. Check to see if a rule or law is fair. Ask questions. If you find that a law is fair, then abide by it. If it creates injustice for another person or being or a group of beings, then don’t.
Love, Love, Love, Love. Keep your heart open and your mind sharp. Remember that the best way to conquer an enemy is to become their friend.
Finally, never accept the status quo. If everyone around you says it can’t be done, then ask them to kindly step aside so that you can get it done. If you want to see more love in the world, then be the love.
Remember that each of your lives is essential to our world. Be who you are. Love who you are. Like the many instruments in a symphony, we each play a part. Play yours with all your heart!”
~ seeing the world through rainbow colored glasses ~ here he is looking at his tassel, with its golden key to the world, and musical instrument charm (his was a saxophone) ~
~ earning his first black tip on his yellow belt ~
~ first lesson with nunchaka (“chucks”) which quinn thoroughly enjoyed ~
~ and onward we go, embracing whatever comes around the next bend or over the next bridge, learning all the time! ~
~ salmon science unit ~ provided a home for some salmon eggs in a tank on science counter ~ ate snack made with graham crackers, peanut butter, chocolate rocks and blueberries, that looked suspiciously like our tank bottom ~ played return to the redd board game and “great anadromous fish game” (for 4-5 grade practice with fractions, long division) ~ group art project and puzzle making a large salmon poster from individual coloring sheets ~
~ found our way home using our noses (each stream had its own characteristic essential oil fragrance in a packet clothes-pinned to each fork in the stream ~ watched eggs hatch out alevins ~ recorded observations ~
~ science counter with tank full of eggs, and finished poster ~ we also sculpted and embossed fish in art class ~
~ large floor diagram of internal salmon anatomy ~ adding the heart ~ all parts taped on and labeled ~
~ filling in their internal anatomy diagrams ~
~ dissection of an adult salmon (provided by fish and wildlife, who had some leftover from a trap survey ~ thousands of eggs! this was a female, and we got to see a male, too ~ one egg ~ the lens removed from the eye ~ there is an ipad app of a fish dissection that can be used a an alternate lesson for kids who want to opt out of dissections ~
~ fry growing rapidly in science counter tank ~ returning carcasses of dissected fish to the stream ~
~ group project: stop-motion animation of the entire life cycle of a salmon ~
~ setting up insect prey and making salmon eat them ~
~ the finished film ~
~ returning a week later with our ready-to-release fry, we observed the way the ecosystem was utilizing the salmon carcasses; all but one had been “utilized” completely, and this one remained, covered in snails ~ each student got to release individual fry, carefully netting it and setting it free in the stream, along with a “wish for a fish” for health and survival prospects and optional naming of the fish ~ a fun frog was found on release day as well, lots of exploring to do at big creek park ~
~ quinn released swimmy and sammy ~
~ the free fry, swimming in the stream ~
additional options… game making – have them make their own games to help others learn about salmon, salmon data math for various skill levels, stream water quality testing… can expand rather limitlessly!
red: an often revisited subject
orange-yellow: still looking lovely today…
green: lisa kitty in the grass
green on blue: i love the angles in this.
blue on blue
purple: tie dye and plaid. i didn’t take this one. 🙂 quinn saying a wish for his fish, swimmy, as we released our ols salmon fry on friday.
a splash of color on monday morning
a photo study documenting the colors of the spectrum: the balance points between light reflected and light absorbed
well, it’s really tuesday, but i am going ahead and observing rainbow monday today.
pink: ignoring for a moment that the date stamp on this image says february 8, and all that implies about the world and its climate, i snapped this photo of the ornamental cherry that came back from a serious setback a few marches ago.
red: i think he wore his red hat around valentine’s day last year as well…
orange: salmon eggs ready to hatch on the ols science counter!
orange: backyard peeling bark tree of unknown variety
orange: sneaky newt playing hide and seek under the duckweed
yellow: (orange you glad i didn’t say orange again?) and the daffodils look lovely…. on february 8th….
green: rescued this little guy from kitty curiosity, and then had a nice little photoshoot thanks to my lovely assistant. actually he is tall, dark and handsome, and he fetched me my camera so i wouldn’t lose the moment!
green: decomposing rhododendron leaves being uplifted by the first spears of daffodils rising out of the spring soil.
blue: starry dogwood buds growing fat against a blue sky!
purple: miner’s lettuce poking up all over the yard!
purple: wintery kales and mustards by the armload brought home after a farmer’s market shift one saturday.
a splash of color on monday morning
a photo study documenting the colors of the spectrum: the balance points between light reflected and light absorbed
11-25-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
“there’s a picture of somebody sitting on a Q!” said Quinn about the painted lines on the parking lot at the coop designating a handicap parking space.
“i want to get in your belly and have milk.” (as we were leaving gymnastics.)
11-26-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
thanksgiving at lee and kate’s. Q helped bake apple pie in AM. napped on the drive over, then again on my lap after diner. got to meet and play with zethan (age 8) who just lost his first tooth. got to see the barn and sing this land and itsy bitsy spider plugged in. “someday i will have a motorcycle,” Quinn informed me.
11-27-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
rumpus with coho salmon (10 miles up n beaver creek road.)
11-28-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
amy’s house – played with “all my kids” and had a blast.
evening: “soon dada and you will go to the store and buy me my rocking chair and we’ll all rock in our rocking chairs!”
11-30-09
thanksgiving was great. with some great hippies out in the woods. it was very cool. mellow, low stress (i had to bake one pie, easy as that!) keeping my turkey in the freezer for christmas…. just nice. quinn forking the pie before we baked it, thursday morning. i got GREAT compliments, it was super yummy pie. one of my better ones.
we spent more time than usual with dada, and it went well. we seem to be able to be friends lately, and that is nice. it only works that way, i know, because we spend so little time normally, but at least then holidays can be pleasant. on black friday we drove up a river to watch coho salmon migrating upstream (saw about 20 of them, mere feet away. breathtaking! but then i work on coho salmon for a living…
the best opposite-of-shopping-mall experience i could have come up with.
quinn in his grundens on salmon day (might make it a yearly thanksgiving tradition….)
on saturday quinn and i spent time with new friends
and had tons of fun. they are homeschool/unschool types, and i think i told you, there are a lot of kids. 6 to be exact. quinn started calling them “my kids” when i told him it was time to leave: “i want to stay here with my kids.” lately he is normally down and playing with whoever we meet up with, but this was different- he was venturing into other rooms on other floors of the house without me! that is a big first for him/us. at one point he wandered upstairs with three of them, and then about 15 minutes later came to check in- a big deal. it was nice to see him feel so comfortable, and i realized that also means that i get to have a new friend i feel comfortable with too (actually noticing quinn’s comfort level clued me in that my own must be pretty high! otherwise i am so unsure with new people, but he is my vibe-o-meter.) and, they decided to give me a laptop, no strings attached. keepers for sure.
there he is with 5 of the 6 of “his” kids and their mama. just to give you the idea of the peacefulness. you can see the ocean from those windows…..
yesterday we took another hike with coparent, this time to hunt mushrooms. we gathered a bunch of chanterelles. i don’t even like to eat mushrooms (texture) but so much free food just sitting on the ground is too hard for me to pass up. i will find a way to use them. we also saw a mountain lion!!!!! none of us had ever seen one before in person in the wild. it was a good ways off, though, which i prefer when it comes to big cats.
i think i may have mentioned this, but i LOVE it here.
oh, and dada and quinn have been building and tending bird feeders. quinn is having a blast with it.
they are building and placing them strategically so there is cover and escape routes and the neighborhood cats can’t really get good access. we have had TONS of birds already, and quinn will just sit and flip through the field guide.
quinn with kitty
kitty with her mini-me (i just love it so. he brought over his pirates’ baby kitty.)
newt! we saw 3 or 4, and each time quinn wanted to “make a house for him!” this was from the mushroom hike. quinn spent most of it in the sling, strangely. he refused to wear his coat, and only would be up on me. not sure what that was all about. he also has been having lots of trouble sleeping lately… last night i fell asleep before him again, and periodically i’d wake up and he was still awake, just rolling around the bed (sometimes right over my head) and i’d hand him his sippy cup and doze off again…. etc. i am not sure what he is up to. one night over the weekend friday night i think, he didn’t fall asleep at all, and needed to get up and play at 1 in the morning, we were up until 2… not sure what developmental leap is about to occur but i’m sure it is something!
12-3-09
yesterday was…. intense. quinn was AWESOME for the fish cutting party. he sat for an hour or more, screwing little caps onto little empty tubes, filling up cups full of them, and sorting them out into racks and boxes by color of cap… he was a champ. i actually got to be fairly productive for about 3.5 hours, then he crashed and burned. major meltdown, and that was right around when i could leave and had planned on leaving so it was just a matter of getting him to calm down so i COULD gather my stuff and leave. poor kiddo. he was great. he played in the car for an hour when we got home (he loves to “drive”) and i chopped firewood nearby. very productive day. then he napped and i sewed him new diapers and worked on designs, and then he went to dada’s and i got to go have a beer (actually a cider) with my lab peeps, for birthdays and andrew finishing his masters. then home for bath, to the store to buy cat food and to pick up quinn. a good day.
12-4-09
this is now on the blog, for posterity.
last night quinn was helping me bake pitas, (for tonight’s dinner) and he was trying to get the spoon from me so he could stir and yelling “my turn, no!” then he continued on the rant “fuck-a-muther!” doh!
it is nice to be able to be like, ok there is no food, but i have all the ingredients i need to make basically anything. (on a good day. then there are days i’m like fuck i’m missing one ingredient of each thing i could think of making! luckily i know how to fudge things a bit too.) pitas turned out to be so completely easy, they are easier time-wise to get done in an evening than regular bread since you only rise the dough once, and they only bake for like 5 minutes at a high temp. whereas loaf of bread is like rise then rise again in the pan, then cook for 35 min. so yeah they are the new bread we have on hand always now. last night we made plain for the hummus, and also some with blueberry oatmeal (leftover) in them for breakfast. plus cinnamon. heat up, put cream cheese on. yum.
12-7-09
i haven’t had a christmas tree for years, but since i got myself (and quinn) a shovel this year, and since quinn has been gaga over all the trees he has seen so far, around town (like in the sewing machine store when we picked up my machine after repair on friday) i decided we’d do it. it is a solstice/xmas tree, and it has babies. 3 trees total. we will plant them somewhere- maybe even in the yard, if the landlords want more trees, otherwise we’ll find a good home for them somewhere. quinn and i got the lights put on last night, i got them planted in pots while he was napping. he’s excited to decorate more- we’re going to paint pinecones and such things….
so we hung out with coparent this weekend again, more than usual. less than turkey day weekend but still… on saturday we brought him to ona beach, where we met up with amy and her 6 kids, so he got to meet them.
12-15-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
“i’m making a heffalump-or-woozle-heiny.”
“hammock baskets” (nets)
12-15-09
ok good news first!!!!! TIM AND NATALIE ARE PREGGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haven’t spoken to my mom yet, will probably call her today she must be soooooooooo stoked! now she’ll have two local grandbabies! next august anwyay.
12-17-09
breaking eggs for carrot muffins. or something.
holding baby hope
making bread with grace
laughing!
he needed to make “a red sign that says stop here!”
mr. firewood helper- he walked a long way around a corner saying “i’m going to go look for some more firewood, guys” and came back with this. what a kid. he’s at work with me and he just saw that picture and said, “there’s quinn picking up a dandy” because his dad said “that’s a dandy” when he brought it back.
quinn and i came home at noon. he finally napped at 3, still sleeping now. i hope he wakes up soon, yet i know this is my only break but damn the bedtimes have been brutal. last night was particularly bad again. not as bad as that one night, but i was yelling again. let’s just say that. he was kicking and hitting me and trying to roll over my head and stuff. and i was so ready to sleep, as i am every night. i am not sure what is going on with him, maybe i need to read up on toddler sleeping and so on….hmmm…..
12-18-09
quinn and the sleep…. oy. he is just having a lot of trouble falling asleep at bedtime, some nights it’s ok and other nights it is literally hours, and he already has a “late” bedtime for a toddler (10). but the only time i mind it is when he is kicking and hitting me. when i yell, he usually laughs. only very occasionally do i bark loud enough that he is startled into crying. it’s awful, either way. the first way, feels awful to just be laughed at when i am pissed, and the second way makes me feel like such a lousy person and parent. i mean i know i’m not that bad, but it’s hard in the moment. and i am at a loss for what to do differently.
i want to be mindful of not sending quinn the wrong messages. i value my connection with quinn, and leaving the room for more than a couple secondss to catch my breath and calm down, feels like abandoning him. i do leave the room, i say “i need some space because i can’t let you hurt me” or whatever “i need to calm down” and such, and then i leave and if he cries i make it extremely brief, and if not, i take a bit of time to regain composure then go back. there is so much more i feel like i need to say about this but i am just a ball of feelings right now.
12-19-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
“sometimes bugs turn out slugs. and then we don’t really touch the slugs.”
me: “we can touch them….”
q: “yeah. and sometimes, we can scoop ’em in a big white bucket, and bring ’em home and put ’em in a little box!”
me: “really? and then what would we do, feed them lettuce?”
q: “yeah!!!! feed ’em that kind of stuff!!!”
12-19-09
i actually feel great, in general, in spite of coparent and in spite of the darkness and weather and such. i am hoping that doesn’t mean i’m just in denial or in some sort of weird dissociated state. but idon’t think so… i just think it has really gotten to be a habit of mine to stay positive, so i am glad it is sticking, even when stuff sucks more for a few days.
so in the mornings with quinn, his dad is there when he wakes up most days, and quinn cries for me, to “have milk” and tells dada to go away, go back to the shop, and if dada gets close he pushes his face, etc. coparent lately does go away out of the room, quinn apparently gets quiet, lays in bed for a while, and then when dada comes back in 20 min and knocks quinn says come in, dada comes in and quinn says “wassup dude?” which is their typical greeting. and they are fine the rest of the day, except MAYBE after nap depending on when nap is. sometimes after nap there is a similar episode. many days, nap is just ending when i get home and it’s no big deal. other days he is still asleep.
but because quinn wakes up asking for milk, his dad has suggested that maybe it is time to “take the next step” with weaning, because a. he feels it is unfair to quinn to be there and give him milk, then not be there (torture) b. he is afraid quinn is showing behaviors that coparent saw in his friend’s son, who was still nursing at 5, and coparent believes said child’s behavior problems were due to primarily not being weaned when he “should have been” so he doesn’t want quinn to be slowed down in his emotional development because he isn’t weaned “when he is supposed to be.”
we can never have this conversation though. the other day i just let coparent spew what his opinions were, without responding. that went fine. but if i have anything to say, he accuses me of stirring up debate and not communicating, not communicating well, being a b!tch, etc. he criticizes my research/knowledge of others’ weaning experiences, he criticizes everything i say on the topic, then he yells at me for not filling him in on “what the plan is.” as if i would feel safe planning anything with that type of situation going on. i said most of that last night- that i felt criticized and unsafe stating my mind.
my main point was that, coparent’s attachment to quinn needing to be strengthened, should not depend on my attachment with quinn being weakened. he hated that. he acknowledged it is true, but he also had to go on and spout how me weaning quinn doesn’t mean our attachment decreases, it just changes…. yeah somehow he has crowned himself king of breastfeeding knowledge, without ever having had a breast. (can you hear the pissed off ani mother bear in there?)
one problem is, all of my great examples of successful child-led weaning (i dislike the term but that is another topic, but it is the going phrase for what quinn and i are doing i suppose) and have really awesome kids and are really awesome people, who i use as my “models,” are my rad mamas. one whose daughter weaned at 4, and the story is just beautiful. and another mama’s son is 3.5 and is still nursing at night to go to bed. it’s just that their approach is SO MUCH IN LINE with all the rest of how i parent- that quinn gets a choice, that he is a real person, that his feelings matter, that our attachment is paramount and that we are free to choose how we do this.
i told coparent i don’t think that will solve the problem he’s having with quinn in the morning, i think that is about their attachment to each other, not mine and his.
to be fair, i guess i am lacking in solutions to offer but there is only so much i can do, i only play a support role in their relationship with each other and am at a loss for suggestions… (and i did admit to coparent that yes i do think he’s right that the time they spent apart when i left was detrimental to their bond- he said it angrily and i validated well yes of course being away from each other hurt things…. but then we both realized that is the past we have to deal with the present, and there isn’t anything we can do to change what happened…. so that was actually a positive moment i thought.)
whew…. now i am starting to feel lighter……..
quinn and coparent get along great, is the thing, at all other times. i always try to talk to quinn at night about just saying “wassup dude” to dada instead of telling him to go away, and i try to make sure he’s prepared for who he will see in the morning so he knows what to expect but it has been going on for so long i think it is just habit for him now to tell dada to go away. and in general, his dad approaches most stuff like i do- quinn has a say in what they do, he plays on the floor with him a lot, reads him 10000 books at nap time, they go fishing, they do all kinds of stuff that quinn likes. honestly, i think my only constructive advice to coparent is he needs to think positively about his relationship with quinn, and not be so bummed about this morning habit thing. probably hard to do, and in the moment i think he SHOULD let quinn know how it hurts his feelings and be real with quinn about that, but also to proclaim to me and the rest of the world that he and his son have a great relationship- even if it is fake it till you make it… i don’t even think it is “fake it”. quinn doesn’t understand how his words make his dad feel, and dad should know that. that is what i think.
i think if i weaned him now, he’d only cry more for me in the morning. because then not only would he miss me, but he and i would have a shaky relationship (because i don’t believe it is the right thing to do so i don’t see how i could pull it off without it hurting our mama quinn relationship) and i am not willing to risk that. i think yeah he wants “dada to go away” because i am not there, not because he dislikes his dad. but i don’t even think it is milk that is the big deal, it is simply me he is missing, not just my boobs.
today quinn and i are going to hang out with elizabeth and wyland and cole. should be fun. hoping for fun, relaxing weekend, then i only have two more days of work before a long break!!!!!!! yippeee!!!!! (i go back jan 4th.)
12-20-09 (added 8-26-20 from found notebook)
“yittle” becoming “ylittle” or “ittlittle”
12-21-09
we have a solstice party tonight, same people as thanksgiving. it should be cool.
pictures of what i did with some of my chocolate-orange sauce: cheesecake for the solstice party. elizabeth and i made the sauce together, it was a recipe she came across from some french preserving book. there are actual slices of orange in there. the cheesecake was good, but honestly my favorite thing i did with it so far was make hot cocoa. elizabeth made me a latte/mocha with it and that was very good, too.
as for christmas, we’ll do a nice breakfast and open presents. that kind of thing. mellow.
12-22-09
last night went fine. cool party. at another person’s house (terry and anne) up on the hill where lee and kate (of thanksgiving) live. so amazingly pretty out there. last night we walked about 1/4 mile from where we parked up to the house, in the dark, with the moon and stars and the forest, and on the way back to the car we realized that even though it’s like 10 miles out into forest, you can hear the ocean at night. wow…. i already wanted to live out there but that just topped it off for me. and terry’s house was awesome with funky little hobbit-like shaped rooms (octagons and stuff) and glass front that looks like it traps lots of sunlight for heat, and wood stove, and just very very cozy and nice. i like it a lot. kate’s house is fun too, very cabin-like, but more roomy less hobbit like. pretty much a rectangle, unlike this one last night. oh and terry’s has the exposed beams and stuff, i love.
i made yummy cheesecake. quinn ate pizza and stuck by me, but at the end of the night anne and annie (both awesome, annie is partners with dude named dominique who does the farmers market in newport with me) the two of them sat down at the piano and badly played and sang xmas carols, and annie let quinn use her jingly bracelet to jingle along to the tunes, and he danced too, and at one point was “singing” just kind of umming along with them. it was so cute.
this morning he woke up crying before i left and was telling me “i need my raincoat! i need my raincoat!!!” ? i have no idea why. i was like yes i know sweetie, i’ll get it, let’s just have some milk first. but i made sure it is there for when he wakes up. maybe he has plans to go out in the rain today with dada?
