Tag Archives: schooner bum

the dolphin progression

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there was a progression. i was going to be an artist when i grew up. then i was introduced to the ocean… myself the artist drew a lot about the ocean. i ended up a biologist, who dabbles in scientific illustration. i think at some point i was planning on training dolphins. then along the way i realized what i really wanted to do was not to teach them, but learn from them.

3-23-98 from my seamester journal:

“i thought a lot today about growing up. what do I want to be? for so long I’ve been so decided and so certain, and now I just don’t know. I don’t know at all. this sailing thing has me all in a tizzy, and I just don’t know what to think anymore. it’s like, I love biology, I love whales and dolphins, it would make sense to do research, and I’m sure I would love that, too. but out here, I get to actually see these whales, some days, and not others, and there’s something about this whole thing that’s so fulfilling. if only I knew what it was. growing up is so complicated.”

8-17-99 while a deckhand on the a.j. meerwald, about sighting a group of 20 or so dolphins:

“i felt them right there, maybe because it’s been so long since we’ve seen them; maybe because I wish I was one of them; maybe because part of me wants to jump right into studying them; or maybe because sailing is where I’ll really get to see them being themselves. I hate it when I’m unable to be myself…”

{translation ~ right there ~ a location in the center of my chest }

11-22-99 in a letter, about a trip to coney island aquarium.

“i can’t help but think how sad they could be and we have no idea so we tell ourselves they’re happy but I can’t imagine dying in captivity. I have no problem with anyone else working as a dolphin trainer with captive whales, but I couldn’t stomach it. it’s funny, considering that’s what I came here wanting to do. I guess I’d just rather see them and study them in the wild, even if I don’t learn as much as I could by putting them in a bathtub.”

10-27-00 (almost exactly a decade ago!!!!!!!!!!) while on the harvey gamage as a deckhand:

“the best thing I have ever done was to be in the water with dolphins! this I did two days ago on transit from norfolk, va to beaufort, nc just south of cape hatteras.

“it is not necessary to swim with them, per se, nor actually touch them; but be surrounded by them and immersed in their watery world, with the option given to them whether or not to touch you.

“clinging to those chains and watching those animals glide and swerve and propel themselves out of the water from inches away- yes, it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“i’d rather learn from one bird how to sing

than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance”

~e.e. cummings

unschooling, schooner style

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one of my first tastes of unschooling might have been when i spent my first 9 weeks aboard the schooner Harvey Gamage. i just dug out my journal from SEAmester, and the entry from our first day of sailing  (3-3-98) included this:

“earlier today we ate breakfast, swabbed the decks, and then the crew let us figure out how to raise the sails. we broke Harvey on the raising of the mainsail, but then our group did a good job on the foresail. i helped with all the sails, and then with coiling the loose lines. ”

having been a crew member on 2 later SEAmesters, i know this “unschoonering” is not the usual protocol. usually there are implicit instructions relayed from the top of the hierarchy on down, and lots of hovering by mates and deckhands, while students learn the lines and maneuvers. there are fewer broken blocks when done that way, it’s true, but i know that students who learn from the top down gain competence far less quickly, and almost never get a handle on the big picture, though they may become adept at isolated tasks.  i find it interesting that the first time i really was “allowed” to just discover something on my own, was really the first time i found myself truly in love and so naturally competent and in tune with something (sailing). i had many passions and hobbies before then, but this made my heart sing like nothing ever had before.

funny thing: i have also been reflecting recently that i do not really feel that pull to be out traversing the high seas like i once did. (i’m not saying i never will!!! just reporting my current status which may have a lot to do with having a 3 year old and feeling content ashore… i will withhold speculation on how things may change once my lad is, say, 7-9-11 years old!) but i now feel the way i felt about sailing back in 1998 about many more things in my life in 2010- the amazing magic and empowerment of being able to unlock any door i want, the realization that i can really do anything, has spilled over into every aspect of life (i guess that’s why they call it whole life unschooling…) i also know that the experience i had on that ship was crucial for me, i’ve felt that way ever since in fact, but i had never put my finger on what exactly was unlocked for me, right there on day one of sailing. i spent the rest of the trip unlocking all sorts of other doors within me, and all those open doors have led me so many wonderful places, but mostly they have led me to myself. i finally figured out that i was someone. and that i got to decide who that someone was, what she believed, and who she would become. and that she had a voice, one that mattered.

{image “the mighty storm” borrowed with permission from michael mcdevitt. here is where you can like his art on facebook}